Last Seen Dead | ONC 2023

9 | that night pt. 2

When Ethan opened his eyes next, he found Florence laying right next to him, staring at him. He did a double take when he realize she was naked and averted his eyes before realizing he was also naked. All of a sudden, it came back to him what happened and the regret came early.

"So... how was it?" she asked, unable to stop smiling.

Ethan could only assume that she had a good time but did he? Seeing as how he could barely remember it, even though it happened presumably a few hours ago seeing as it was still night.

So many thoughts swirled around his head that he found it hard to focus on just one of them, let alone answer her question. He knew he would regret sleeping with her but he didn't think he would regret it so quickly. Well, it wasn't like he could undo it and at least they used protection.

She laughed, poking his shoulder. "Did I make you speechless?"

"I think you should leave," Ethan said all of a sudden, surprising even himself. He twisted his legs to the side of his bed, standing up and started looking for some clothes to cover himself with. He was feeling super self-conscious all of a sudden, as all of his anxieties rushed back to him.

"Why?" Florence pouted. "Didn't you have a good time? I think we have real chemistry."

After covering himself with a t-shirt and shorts, Ethan looked at Florence's eyes, trying really hard to not look at her naked body. If he let his eyes drop, he might give her the wrong idea. "You can't always use sex to escape the real world. You're going to have to face the truth eventually."

"Says the one who started it," she said, her tone defensive. "Can you just drop it? We had a nice night and I just want to spend time with you without worrying about the future right now."

"Florence," Ethan said, taking a deep breath in. For some reason that night, he felt emboldened to say what he really felt without holding it back. "I want you to listen to me because I can't ignore this anymore. You can't keep avoiding your problems or they'll just keep getting worse again."

Florence grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze. "Did you really want to have sex with me, Ethan? Or did you use me as some kind of distraction because of my vulnerable state?"

Ethan looked down, refusing to answer the question. If he answered truthfully, she would get rightfully pissed off at him and he didn't want her to be angry now. Then she wouldn't listen.

Florence seemed to take his silence as an answer.

"Unbelievable," she said, fuming. "I can't believe you'd do this to me."

"Just listen to me," Ethan said. "I really care about you and I want your life to get better."

And instead of listening, she did the very thing she always did. She climbed out of bed, picking up her clothes off the ground. At this point, she didn't even bother giving him eye contact.

"Running away again like you always do?" he asked, unable to hold back anymore. "You're literally proving my point right here and right now. Every time I try to help you, you leave."

She dropped her dress all of a sudden, turning to face Ethan. "You know, I thought you really cared about me. I thought, here is one man who is actually different from the rest. And yet, you're just like every other man out there. You only care about being right and your own damn ego."

"Florence, I care about you so much," he said, sighing. "That's why I'm telling you this. I've watched you over the years, watched the people you surround yourself with. You deserve better. You deserve to be with a guy who values you and doesn't see you as an inflatable sex doll."

Florence started dressing, not caring that her clothes were still wet. "Ethan, things are complicated right now. I don't think you understand the kind of pressure I'm under. You can't just spout a few things, thinking you know my life better than I do until you've walked in my shoes."

Ethan reached forward, grabbing her arm and turning it over. "I know self-inflicted scars when I see them," he said, finally pointing out that he knew all along. "I know you're not coping. I know that you've been lying about your mental health to me and to all of our other friends again."

Florence yanked her arm back. "You're acting like you didn't do the same thing."

"But I changed," Ethan shouted, not realizing his voice kept growing in volume. "I got help and I got better. That's the only thing I ever wanted for you. Instead, you're stuck in your situation and it's not going to get better if you keep getting treated like shit by excuses for men like Kevin."

"At least Kevin wants me," Florence shouted back. "I'm tired of your hot and cold attitude, Ethan. You say you don't like me, fine, but then you go and pull shit like this, making me think you like me. What was this whole night for anyways? Was I just some kind of toy to you? You say I deserve a guy who doesn't just see me as an inflatable sex doll but isn't that what you just did?"

Ethan's face burned with anger. He wasn't ready to explain asexuality to her. He was hardly ready to accept the label himself, fearing that it might not even fit him, fearing he was an imposter. Plus, she was completely missing the point. It took two people to tango and she went along with it.

Besides, they had a good time, didn't they?

At this point, he didn't want to ruin his night any further.

"Just go already," he finally said, after a moment of silence.

Florence stared at him, her mouth dropping in shock. "Ethan... I... how could you?" Tears started spilling onto her cheeks again but Ethan felt hollow, watching her cry in front of him.

This was his closest friend, one of the few friends he had left, and he felt nothing. Maybe there really was something wrong with him. Or maybe apathy was just one hell of a strong drug.

And then, just like that, Florence walked out of his apartment and out of his life.