Last Seen Dead | ONC 2023

12 | human connection

"You look lost in thought," Kailani said, breaking the silence. "What's on your mind?"

Ethan took a deep breath, trying to think of the best way to phrase it. "So, I was just thinking about... well, everything. What do you think Florence would be doing if she were still alive?"

"I like to imagine she'd be doing me but a girl can dream, you know?"

Ethan started wheezing, taken aback by her statement. This possibility, while totally plausible, had never occurred to him. Then again, he never really thought about Florence's sexuality. He had only ever seen her publicly date guys, so he assumed that she was straight the whole time.

"Hey, queer people exist, you know?" Kailani narrowed her eyes. "I swear, if you're some kind of homophobe or something, I'm cutting your balls and your peen. I'm tired of homophobic piece of sh—"

Ethan held his hands up. "I'm very okay with queer people. Please don't hurt me." His face had fallen pale, as if he had seen a ghost. He never expected the night to turn out quite like this.

Kailani burst out laughing. "Dude, you should've seen your face. But seriously, thank you for the reassurance. Sometimes, I can read people's vibes, but I just couldn't quite tell with you."

"So... you and Florence?" Ethan asked, trying to get the conversation off of him. "I didn't think you liked her like that." He really hadn't seen the signs coming or maybe he just wasn't looking.

"Who didn't? She was hot as fuck, Ethan. You have eyes, right? Isn't that why you... you know?" Kailani made an obscene gesture with her hands that only made Ethan roll his eyes.

"It's hard to explain," he began. "It's still a new concept to me and... well..."

"Try me," she said. "I'm willing to listen."

Ethan explained his side of the story and how he was trying to help support her while also going over his curiousities over sex and how he had come to identify as asexual. That night had been such a blur of things and emotions were running high on both sides, for different reasons.

As soon as Ethan was done explaining, Kailani's eyes widened. "My girlfriend also identifies as asexual so I totally understand where you're coming from. I'm so sorry that you didn't feel safe enough to tell anyone sooner. Florence would have totally understood though. She's one of us."

"Us?" Ethan asked, not fully understanding yet.

Kailani laughed. "You must have not read that much of her messages online. Florence was super gay. Kevin was just her cover-up. You didn't think she actually loved him, did you?"

Ethan's eyebrows scrunched up. "Then how come she had feelings for me?"

Kailani stared at him, rolling her eyes. "I'm pretty sure you were the only guy she liked. You should know that sexuality is fluid anyways. Not everyone uses the same label their whole life and not everyone wants to use a label. Her sexuality is still valid, regardless of how she labels it."

Ethan took a moment to think about it. And then another. And then he started to overthink it just a tiny bit. Did she actually have feelings for Kevin? He had a hard time identifying his own feelings, let alone trying to identify the feelings of other people. It was even harder when people hid their feelings or when their words would portray one thing but their tone another thing.

"But she married him," he quickly said, even though it was a weak argument. So many people married other people for reasons other than love. So it was very possible this was the case here.

"And? The dude had a good paying job. It was a business move, nothing personal," Kailani explained. "Honestly, if I were in her position, I might have done the same thing. It's hard being out and sometimes, you do miss the peace of being in the closet and being left alone, but at the same time, I get such a buzz being out and walking around with my girlfriend, holding her hand."