Last Seen Dead | ONC 2023

14 | slow down

So, he walked over to his wardrobe and grabbed a black hoodie, pulling it over his head. There was no time to think or overthink for once as he let his body go through the motions of leaving.

Not even five minutes later, he was outside his apartment, locking up the door behind him.

It had been so long since he left his apartment. He couldn't remember when he last did and the more he tried to think of a specific instance, the more his mind went blank. But in that moment, breathing in the fresh air, he felt alive in a way that he hadn't felt in a truly long time.

It was nice being outside, something he had forgotten over the months of seclusion.

The wind was playing with his hair as he strolled down his street, not a single care in the world. People passed him, some waving his way, and he smiled back and waved at them, too. He didn't know any of them but somehow, it still brought him some joy to be seen and acknowledged.

It was silly, really, but it was another form of human connection he had been missing all along.

And as he walked, he couldn't help but pay attention to all the new buildings he passed. There was a lot going on in his neighborhood that he had been unaware of. He lived here for so many years and this was the first time he saw a donut shop nestled between some apartment buildings.

His stomach growled at the sight, demanding that he go there for breakfast, and he decided to be spontaneous and listen. After all, it was better to eat a donut for breakfast than nothing at all.

It was one block down and the name of the shop was Donut Queen. He found himself walking faster and as the shop came into view, the smell of freshly baked donuts invaded his nose.

Once he was inside the brightly colored shop, he felt like a kid in a candy store, taking in all the flavors they had displayed at the front of the shop. He was the only one standing, as everyone else in the shop was sitting and eating. The sole cashier stood behind the counter, waiting for him.

"Let me know when you're ready to order," she said with a smile.

Somehow, it felt like the clerk was extra friendly to him, or maybe she was nice to everyone who bought from there. He forgot what it felt like to have these sorts of mundane interactions.

Maybe this was what it meant to be human. He had never seen this person before but he still felt a kinship with her, as they were both humans in this world, trying their best to survive.

Experiencing kindness from strangers, from people who had no reason to be nice to you, felt special somehow. They wouldn't benefit at all and he probably wouldn't see her again.

And yet, she cared about him, even if just to help him get the donut he wanted.

He looked through the options, trying to decide on the one he wanted the most. He could go safe and go with glazed, a classic, or he could branch out and get an oreo cookie donut.

So many options, so many delicious looking donuts to choose from.

He almost wanted to pick them all, but what would he do with a dozen donuts? After a few days, they would go stale and they wouldn't taste the same as eating them fresh that day.

Eventually, his indecision led him to frustration and his frustration to being hangry. Before he could angrily storm off without a single donut and being disappointed, the clerk stepped in.

"Do you need help deciding?" she asked, her voice calm and even. "I know it's hard for new customers since there's so many options to pick from. My favorite is the maple cookie crunch."

Ethan directed his attention to the flavor she mentioned and his stomach growled again. It was a plain donut as the base with maple icing and small pieces of cookies adorned on it as sprinkles.

"Yeah, I think I'll go with that one," he said. "Maybe I'll try another type next time too."

She smiled at him and went to grab the donut, placing it in a tiny box with the shop's name and logo on the outside of it. She set the box on the counter. "Can I get you anything else?" she asked.

He thought about it for a moment and decided that now was as good a time as any to treat himself. "One medium iced vanilla latte please," he said.

Once she rung him up, he used his phone to pay. At least he could rely on the wonders of technology instead of having to carry around his wallet all the time in case he needed it.

"It'll be right at the counter once it's ready," she said.

A few minutes later, Ethan grabbed his drink and his donut box and went outside to the shop's outdoor seating. There were a few small tables with umbrellas outside and he sat at one of them.

He opened the box, and the donut looked even more delicious up close. The smell of the maple icing had him drooling and he reached down to grab it, sinking his teeth into it and taking a bite.

It tasted every bit as sweet as he was expecting it to be and it felt like a nice reward after the shit week he had. He completely forgot what day of the week it was because time had completely lost meaning. So, he opened his phone, only to be greeted with the fact that it was only Wednesday.

Friday was still so far away but he was already mentally done with this week.

Luckily, because of how many sick hours he had, he didn't have to worry about work for a while. He could take as much time as he needed and maybe by Monday, he could work again.

At the same time, he wasn't planning to rush himself. It was important for him to be well-rested and prepared for was coming next in his life and he was thankful he could afford to slow down.