Stardom For Dummies

Lesson 8 - How to play a game of two

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Chapter 8

< how to play a game of two >

My legs don't hesitate as I weave through the roads. Some places had changed in the last two years but I can still recognise most. The last time we were here, it was for my sixteenth birthday. Imagine getting your birthday celebrated in a run-down park with a half baked cupcake and extremely bad icing. That was Xuejun for you.

I place my cold hands into my pockets but they do almost nothing. I should've brought along a pair of gloves. Not like that punk Xuejun was here to warm it anyways.

Almost on their own accord, my legs speed up as the neighbourhood becomes more familiar. What if Xuejun was really there? Sulking by the broken swings. How do I start talking? Do I go 'sup, long time no see' or should I just punch him for running away and making everyone worried?

Trees draw closer and like someone who had just finished a marathon, my heart rate picks up alarmingly and no amount of counting could relax it. What do I even say? Are you well? Did you eat? Why did you run away? I . . . missed you?

And just like that, it's there. The empty park.

One in the morning and there's literally not a single soul in the vicinity. Including Liu Xuejun.

My hammering heart drops and I reel at the intensity, legs going weak.

He isn't there.

But I was so sure he'd be . . .

Tightening my fists, I walk inside the park, going to the kiddie slides first, then to the swings. I even search below the monkey rungs, where everything is out in the open but not even a fly is in sight. Shouldn't fireflies be in season right now? Did global warming kill them too?

I roam around the park once more, going through everything, but even an onyx Bombay cat would be easier to find in the darkness. Liu Xuejun really isn't here.

I swallow the growing discomfort but it's hard to ignore the unease gnawing at my organs.

Where the heck is he?

Wind blows and with how cold the summer night was, I should be freezing but my mind barely registers the cold.

My hands hesitate before they take out my phone once again. 1:43 PM. Fingers hesitating, I look down at the thirty six calls from Liu Xuejun that I purposefully did not pick almost two years back. What did he think back then? I had run away too. Did he search for me like this? Did he want to punch me if he found me? Was he this anxious? Were there fireflies then?

I make up my mind in a second, throwing hesitation out of the window. My stomach screams, my mind screams and worse, my hands are a sweaty nightmare but finally, I press the call button. Hang up. Hang up. Hang up. But I stomp my feet and stare straight ahead, fingers not daring to go anywhere near the red button.

It's an extreme torment as I listen to each ring. Ten, twenty and then thirty five. Of course, Xuejun doesn't pick up. I can't help the bitter smile that takes me over. Ah yes, how could I forget? Two can play this game.

I glance at the new unattended call adorning the top of the glorious thirty six previous ones. Everything around me is pitch black, the night not helping with the aesthetics and even the lone cricket being noisy by the side feels plastic. The helplessness I feel only stays for a second before something shatters in me.

So what if he didn't attend? So what if I was the same type of jerk two years back? To hell with PBS and running away. To hell with promotions. To hell with Liu Xuejun or even me. To hell with everything.

Perching down, I crack my knuckles. A stone roughly juts into my butt, uneven and extremely uncomfortable but I ignore it. To hell with technology. Liu Xuejun, I'm going to keep calling you till you pick up. 

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A/N., Sorry for disappearing again! At this point, I'm sure I'm leaving trust issues everywhere I go TT 

Turns out PG is even more hectic than UG and currently, I'm in works of writing my thesis proposal and stuff. It's hell :')

How has everyone been? And thank you for reading.

Kai.