Seventeen-year-old Winter Chu has seen it all. Shrivelling sleep schedules, diets, his picture perfect mentor's booger, a fat zero in maths. You name it, he has seen it. Or that's what he likes to believe.
Exactly why Winter cannot fathom how he fa...
An uncontrollable shiver runs down my spine and before I could compose myself, I whip back to look at where I'd just had eye contact. The song has already started and Ryuu notices the stray head movement from me. He shoots me a questioning gaze but I surreptitiously shake my head.
My limbs move from muscle memory but like a taut band snapping, my mind is nowhere near concentrated. All the happiness and momentary epiphany from a few seconds ago are gone, no trace even lingering whatsoever and in place, an empty chill is all I got.
Throughout the performance, I stealthily glance around the area to see if I can find them again but no matter how many times I check, those steely eyes that were staring at me for a split second are gone.
Hallucination? But it felt real enough . . .
The song ends and officially, our busking is done for the day. Some busking groups would collect money from eager audiences but since we are doing this more for publicity than as a living, we just stand up and thank the crowd.
The megaphone passes from Ha Joon hyung to Ryuu, then to Do Hyun and to me but my mind is a glorious mess and I slackly take the megaphone not knowing what to do. Do Hyun shoots me a look and when I don't respond, he even ever-so-kindly mouths 'stop spacing, hyung..!' but words fail me.
He is just an ex-friend, I tell myself. Count to ten. You're just imagining.
But even as an imagination, my mind isn't colourful enough to visualise things let alone vividly conjure up a pair of stark eyes that I hadn't seen for almost two years now. In fact, the boy from my memories didn't have those eyes. He had kinder ones. Kinder ones that light up carelessly with a lazy smile, crinkling softly when he calls out my name. A familiar brown that feels like hot chocolate on a cold day.
A sudden, sharp pain cuts through my brain, halting all thoughts about Liu Xuejun as Do Hyun, not so politely, rams his elbow into my ribs, a fake playful grin on his face as he 'playfully' nudges me.
"Excuse our rapper," Ryuu says with his heavily accented Korean. "He's just a tad bit shy." The crowd aw's at Ryuu's accent and I pinch myself. Why am I even spacing out in front of an audience? Be professional, Winter.
Shaking my head, I grip the megaphone and lift it to my lips. They pull into a proficient smile and without inhibitions, I chuckle. "My bad," I mutter sheepishly, even going as far as scratching my head with my free hand. Few girls hurry to snap a picture and the initial practiced smile bubbles into a relatively genuine one.
"Hi, I'm Winter Chu. Main rapper and lead dancer of aXle. Nice to meet you."
The crowd breezily claps and I try to pass the megaphone back to Ha Joon hyung but some of the older girls in the crowd hoot cheekily. "Foreigner?" an older boy calls out and I shake my head in the negative, a smile on my face.
"Just half Korean."
And then I stop talking.
"Speak some more," a girl calls out and her friends jeer, nudging her. Even some of the older women in the frontlines smile and nod, and for a second, it's a rowdy wreck. But enough is enough and Liu Xuejun is still at the back of my mind, so I shake my head weakly, melting into the perfect image of a shy, younger boy.
More 'aw's fill the air, and this time, even boys from the nearby college laugh. On that light note, Mr. Park Tae Joo nods at the man who helped him set the system, and though the crowd mutters in disappointment, they set down to pack everything back.
Ha Joon hyung, Ryuu and Do Hyun go around the crowd, bowing and exchanging some words, cheeks flushed and eyes bright. We've busked many times but this time is a success and I look at them going around, securing new fans while I shuffle my feet, stalling behind Mr. Park Tae Joo under the guise of helping him with packing.
I'm tired.
"I've told you before," a calm, curt voice sounds and I glance up to find my mentor looking down at me. His face is as impassive as always but my eyes don't miss the way his lips are mildly crooked.
Ah man, someone is displeased.
"Told me what?"
Mr. Park Tae Joo sighs and for a second, he looks extremely tired too. "Let loose, Winter. Sometimes being yourself is the best way to attract a crowd. You don't have to put on a show for every second of the day."
I've known him for nearly five years. We've been at rock bottom for two years. Together. We've been through enough crap for me to throw away the formality. I roll my eyes and look up unimpressed. The other three wouldn't dare look at him this way but Mr. Park Tae Joo doesn't get angry at my lack of respect.
"Being myself?" I bark, and the words come out much harsher than I intend them to. "I did. Back at PBS. And you know how it turned out."
He doesn't reply and a moment passes. The sun has almost disappeared but the sky is a faded red and half the crowd were still lingering, talking to the rest of the boys. His gaze on me doesn't soften but a moment later, he blinks, clicking his tongue.
"Pretending can tire you out."
His face is hard and though I can read him fairly well, right in this instant, I can't. His eyes glaze and for a second, he looks almost pitiful. A hand shoots out and totally unlike himself, he hesitates for a second before ruffling my hair slowly. "Maybe not debuting in Purple Skyes was for your own good," he mumbles and soon, it turns into a whisper.
"Just look at Xuejun."
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A/N., the momentum is building I guess haha. A filler chapter though. Boy is he whipped. Hope you enjoyed reading so far. Congratulations to us for reaching the 5th chapter mark :')
Song attached: Compass by FTISLAND
Kai~
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