Dai Li's Personal Spy

Chapter 23: Obligation

I woke up in the morning, instantly remembering the dream. I got up and looked into the tiny mirror above my tiny desk. I looked like death. I retied my hair and attempted to rub some life back into my dark circles. I looked at my satchel. It had my most recent report for the Dai Li and paper to write on.

I was thinking about my dream. He had actually told me to do something, to join him. I had known it all this time in the back of my mind. I knew the guilt of working against Zuko yet at the same time for him. I sat down on my cot, lifting back the arm of my shirt to look at the scars that enveloped the underside of my arms. I sighed, knowing what I had to do. I would see Zuko off at the North Pole and join the Avatar.

I never meant to love Zuko, I never thought I could. I shouldn't of because it was going to make this all so unbearable. I opened my satchel, pulling out my papers and my reports. I left my Dai Li badge in it, feeling like it could come in handy in the future.

I remembered what Iroh had said about letting obligation make my choices. I would make my own choices from there on, refusing to let obligations guide me anymore. I held the papers over my palm and lit a flame in my hand. A small ember crept its way up from the bottom of the papers, and then it suddenly burst into one whole flame, withering into ash as quickly as it had begun to burn. No more running from the truth.

A knock came at the door. "Who is it?" I asked, scared it wasn't Zuko.

"Broadswords," I opened the door at the familiar word, and it was a masked soldier standing outside. He lifted his face guard to reveal he was Zuko. I held the door open for him, and he stepped inside. I closed the door behind him.

"This place is smaller than my room, and I'm just a soldier," Zuko commented, noticing its lack of windows and legroom.

I sighed. "You can tell how much they like me here," I drawled, sitting back down on my bed. He sat down next to me, not too far, but not too close.

"Do you have a plan?" I asked as he removed his helmet. He nodded.

"We can use the ships Kayak to get into the Northern Watertribe when we are close enough to the border,"

"We? You assume I'm coming?" I pointed out. He looked at me intensely.

"Aren't you?" I paused for a moment, thinking I could hurt him less if I didn't. But how else would I get off this ship?

"Of course," I replied, guilt churning my insides. His eyes flickered with something for a moment before he smiled. I still wasn't used to it, and it still managed to send a flurry of butterflies into my stomach. I leaned back on the wall.

"So, what do you do as a soldier?" I asked.

"Pretty much nothing. We may be on our way to the North Pole, but we certainly aren't doing anything till we get there. I just walk around a lot." He complained, leaning back on the wall too.

"Well, must be different to being a prince on his own ship," I commented, fiddling with my bracelet.

"And you?" I sighed at the question.

"I've had about 4 men mistake me as a concubine and tried to offer me money, where I had to desperately explain that I was, in fact, a paid tracker and not just a free for all. There are women in the army, but obviously not in the navy" I laughed, but Zuko looked like he was horrified.

"You should complain, that's unacceptable for them to treat you like that." He seemed so determined to defend my dignity and honour. I laughed at his innocence. "I'm pretty sure Zhao thought I was a concubine to you for a while before he accepted I was indeed hired as a Royal tracker," I laughed. Zuko went very red, turning his head away from me.