A Day In September - BTS Zombie au

58: Envy?

Mara said nothing. She was dreading the answer.

"You're a pathetic excuse for a brother," Haneul muttered, shaking her head again, "I was the disappointment, not him. But the guilt and embarrassment made me want to pin the blame on someone else," she scoffed, "And now look where he is. Dead. It should've been me-"

"Don't say that," Mara cut her off, "Don't say that. He did everything he could to keep you safe, and I know that he loved you enough to never abandon you, or hate you. And I'm sure that you being alive would've meant the entire world to him. Because he would've always put you before him," Mara squeezed Haneul's hand, "And I can see it in your eyes that you're being genuine. It's never too late to be a better person, and your apology was a good start. Taking accountability was a good start," Mara smiled, "Your brother will always be with you in spirit, so keep his memory alive and carry his kindhearted values with you. Don't let his death be in vain."

Haneul sniffled, nodding and trying not to cry too loudly. Mara rubbed shoulders in consolation and chuckled at her attempt.

"You can cry if you want to, don't hold back," she said, pulling Haneul into her arms once again.

Crickets chirped incessantly amidst the patches of short grass and up in the trees. It was a peaceful night regardless of the circumstances. Death was a part of nature too, an inevitable one.

"Usually a grave is for people."

Hoseok grumbled, not looking back at who spoke. He knew the voice irritably well, "She loved that horse as if it were human," he said. He sat by a small fire he'd made, beside the tree and Brownie's grave.

Hyunjae's brows raised, and he faintly smiled, "I guess her heart is twice the size of a normal one."

Hoseok didn't say anything, instead pursing his lips. The silence was louder than the rustling leaves of swaying branches, than the crickets, than the fire that crackled in front of Hoseok. It was awkward, the exact opposite of how it should've been between brothers.

"Why?" Hoseok asked.

This question caught Hyunjae off guard, "...Why what?"

"Why are you talking to me?"

It came off abrasive, but that's just the way Hoseok was, and Hyunjae seemed to still inherently know that. It would've been obvious to say 'Because were brothers' but for some reason Hyunjae didn't say that. The older brother just shrugged, fidgeting in place and playing with the rings on his fingers. He didn't look like the leader of his community, the revered and righteous man who had bravely put his own friend down hours ago. He looked timid and irresolute, unable to form words to start a conversation with his flesh and blood.

"So you just came to talk just because?"

"I wanted to," Hyunjae stated.

Hoseok narrowed his eyes at the fire, his shoulders tense with bubbling irritation.

"I thought maybe we could have a talk. We could make amends?" The older said, not sounding too confident.

Hoseok froze, then he uncomfortably shifted in his seat. He wasn't expecting that, not from the brother he'd estranged. Sure, he'd been the one to ask for an alliance but it wasn't for him. It was for Namjoon.

"Not to be a jerk, but if you're looking for a replacement for Sam, I'm not the one," Hoseok snapped. Hyunjae winced at the harsh reply, and he seemed to grow slightly upset.

"Replacement? That's not why I'm here," the older muttered.

"But it's a part of it," Hoseok threw his brother a glare, his arms defensively crossing over his chest.