A Day In September - BTS Zombie au

48: Pushed Aside

Hoseok wasn't the brightest, or the most sturdy guy out there. He had his flaws, which were more apparent to some (ahem Mara) than others. He wasn't a big fan of his way of dealing with his past, but denial was a hell of a coping mechanism. He refused to acknowledge that his actions were doing more harm than good, which didn't make him the best contender for MVP. His passed endeavors with love only brought harsher realities he had to, but hadn't yet, accepted.

However, Hoseok wasn't an irritable, prattling man for no reason. Of course, his resulting behaviors after years of enduring neglect could not be ascribed to anyone else but him.

"You are what you make of yourself."

He'd heard that plenty of times. He held himself liable for his petulant behavior, but it was not without a cause. Unsurprisingly, family matters played a pivotal role in the way Hoseok developed his interpersonal skills. His self-worth was measured by the validation of others—not just of anyone, but of the people that mattered most to him. Growing up, it was his parents: the people who had raised him second to the son they began to prioritize—Hyunjae. Brotherly rivalries were normal as siblings grew up, but the favoritism that stemmed from academic success caused the parents to coldly pin the brothers against one another. Hoseok tried his best to keep up, but his shortcomings caught up to him, leaving him to watch as his brother receive all the praise. The attempt to elicit pride from his parents had proved futile, and thus began his journey to rebellion, in which gratification came in the form of infamy. Eventually, when people began to rot, his alliance with his brother, the only person he had left, quickly turned sour.

"Your reluctance to take leadership within your own people brings shame on our family name. Mom and dad would've been disappointed in you, just like they've always been."

Hoseok bore an unresponsive expression when faced with the scrutiny and harsh criticism from his own brother, but his loyalty did not lie within family ties at that point. Rather than allowing his brother to get under his skin like he'd done several times in the past, he brushed off his comments and proceeded to ask for Hyunjae's sworn alliance. Hyunjae may have taken for himself the affection and attention of the parents that belonged to them both, and he may have taken the woman Hoseok loved, but one thing he had not taken was Hoseok's dignity. Hoseok's loyalty lied at the hands of Namjoon, the man who had once been warm and welcoming but had gradually turned indifferent and distant. Regardless of how estranged the relationships within Hoseok's group had become, said man would've rather given his unwavering devotion to a stranger than his own brother.

When faced with Mara, the fearless woman who had defeated her enemies with virtuous sovereignty, his mind made her a threat. The situation seemed all too familiar, setting off a spark in Hoseok he believed he'd put out several years ago.

Who was she to be so innocently brave and selfless?

How could she be everything that Hoseok wished he was?

When will I be everything I've dreamt of being?

Hoseok wiped away the sweat, taking off his knit cap and feeling the cold air card through his hair and sweaty scalp. Body heat rose from his head, the hours of hard work dissipating into the winter air as he placed the logs onto the wheelbarrow, pushing it over to the dwindling stack by the backyard entrance. On his way, he heard faint laughter and murmurs, ready to roll his eyes as he assumed the girlish giggles had come from none other than Mara. However, when glancing over at the Junkyard, his brows raised in surprise at spotting Haneul, who gently nudged a chuckling Jungkook. He eyed the two and ultimately did roll his eyes. He returned to work, hearing the slight rustle of tarp and finding Jin as he exited the greenhouse. He looked around and spotted Hoseok, approaching him while pointing to the garden.