A Means to an End (WangXian)

If Only I Knew

Despite waking up from the nightmare, Wei Wuxian was still panicked, and the sound of his heart rate pounded in his ears. He was too far from his siblings-from his family. He had to make sure they were alright, that they were still alive.

He ran across the Cloud Recesses. The rules be damned. He looked like a mad man that had been let loose. His hair was a mess, tears still streaming down his red cheeks. His breathing was labored, making himself feel light-headed.

"Shijie, Wen Qing, please!" he called, voice trembling. He continued running with no plans of stopping.

His mind was so overwhelmed that he missed the additional presence that appeared not far from him.

It had been a few days since Lan Wangji took Wei Wuxian to the bunny field. He had spent that time meticulously watching the younger boy and the Lan's concern for him only grew.

Lan Wangji watched the boy run across the Cloud Recesses frantically with a heart-wrenching and terrifying expression.

He had been on watch for the night again, and he had just completed his rounds when he heard a faint shout. It was far enough that no one else would have heard it unless they were intentionally listening for any odd sound.

When he first saw Wei Wuxian, he thought he was sneaking in more alcohol. Lan Wangji was partly tempted to let him get away with it, but he figured he might keep an eye on the boy anyway.

At least, he had hoped that was what happened. Instead, he found Wei Wuxian on the verge of a panic attack.

He did not hesitate before following the boy. He was worried about what he was about to do. There was no alcohol in his hands, so Lan Wangji knew the boy hadn't left the Cloud Recesses, nor was he likely drunk, but the expression Wei Wuxian had, made his chest tighten. He could hear the boy's labored breathing, and Lan Wangji was worried that he would pass out from hyperventilating.

His body was tense, and his eyes had a crazed look in them, but they were also glassed over with tears. Whatever happened, Lan Wangji knew it was not good, and he needed to help the boy.

It wasn't long before Lan Wangji noticed that he was heading for the girls dormitory, which is quite a distance away from the boys dorm.

Lan Wangji rushed forward and grabbed Wei Wuxian by the wrist gently to stop him from proceeding. No men were allowed in that area, especially late at night.

"Let go!" Lan Wangji was not expecting the reaction he had received. Wei Wuxian quickly yanked his arm free, a bit of his spiritual energy being unleashed at the same time. It caused Lan Wangji to be thrown back, and he hit the ground roughly.

His mind blanked.

Has Wei Ying always been this strong? Was he holding back that first night we fought?

Lan Wangji did not have time to ponder over his questions when he saw Wei Wuxian collapse to the floor on his knees. He pressed his chest to his legs and sobbed, his heaving breaths taking a greater toll. His body trembled, and Wei Wuxian gripped his hair roughly, like he wanted to pull it all out.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji calls.

"I-I'm sorry! I d-didn't-"

"Wei Ying."

The gentle voice of Lan Wangji only made Wei Wuxian sob harder. He hadn't meant to hit him so hard. He panicked when he felt someone grab him without him realizing. His defenses immediately kicked in, but he didn't want to hurt Lan Wangji. He didn't want Lan Wangji to hate him like he did during and after the war. He couldn't handle it again, but here he was, still making mistakes.