HOW AM I ALREADY AT 1K WHAT? Seriously though, thank you guys. I appreciate all the feedback an love it never fails to make my day. I'm gonna stop before I get all sappy.
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Okay. So. Right.
That happened.
Caspar jerked him off last night, Joe thinks as he lies in bed the next morning. Caspar jerked him off and neither of them had been drunk.
Which makes it worse, of course.
Caspar's currently draped over him like a starfish, snoring softly into Joe's ear.
Truthfully, Joe feels terribly fucking guilty. It shouldn't have happened again. Nothing should have happened between them in the first place. The worst part is that...it felt so very right. Both times.
Joe angles his head, watching Caspar as he sleeps. He wishes he was asleep right now too so that he didn't have to think about all of this so early. It's not even nine yet and already Joe's moral center is eating away at his thoughts and bashing his conscience.
Caspar snuffles in his sleep and cuddles closer.
Fuck. Joe groans audibly. Not only is Caspar Lee hot as hell but he's also too adorable for words. It's just not fair.
"...uzzit?" Caspar grumbles at the sound of frustration Joe had made.
"Morning," Joe greets flatly.
"Mmm, sleepy."
"Will you be sleepy when I say you jerked me off last night?"
Caspar cracks an eye open against the morning sunlight. "Oh. Right."
"Mhmm."
Caspar says nothing in response, but he stretches lazily, making a noise like a cat. Joe watches, mesmerized by the sight of his shirtless roommate, which is ridiculous because he's seen Caspar shirtless plenty of times before the slept together.
"My shirt's covered in your come, isn't it?" Caspar asks tiredly.
"Yeah. You used it to wipe my stomach and your hand last night before we fell asleep."
"Ugh, I hate laundry."
"Caspar."
"I know," Caspar sighs, sitting up. "I don't know what to say."
"Why did you - last night, why did-"
Caspar looks down at him, expression unreadable. "I heard you. And you sounded so...so turned on, so hot for it, for something. I couldn't stop myself. I don't know, I just...couldn't. I had to uh, help."
Joe nods decisively.
"So we pass it off as me being horny and you being generous."
"...Yes."
"Sounds good to me," Joe says, yawning.
He knows they should discuss the issue more. He knows they can't keep doing this. He knows they can't keep creating more secrets to hide. But honestly he's tired of trying to make sense of it all. Joe argues internally with himself over the issue often enough that a simple explanation (even if said explanation is faulty, untrue, or incomplete) is good enough for him at this point.
"And we probably shouldn't let our boyfriends suck our dicks again while we're sitting next to each other," Joe adds quickly.
"Yes. For sure."
Joe slips out of bed and heads for the shower.
It won't happen again.
It won't.
~*~
"You forgot about the Spring formal?" Connor asks him that next Monday at lunch. "But it's this Friday!"
"I've been preoccupied," Joe says tiredly, purposefully avoiding Connor's gaze.
"But what are you going to wear?" Connor wonders in a panic.
"...You're seriously assuming I can't whip up a perfect outfit in five days? Your confidence in my abilities is so inspiring."
"Right," Connor mumbles. "Sorry. But we're still going, right?"
"Of course we're going," Joe says with a kiss to Connor's cheek.
"Good," Connor smiles, wrapping his arms around Joe's waist. "I can't wait to dance with you."
"Me neither."
Joe quickly catches a glimpse of Caspar, who averts his gaze and smiles kindly at Tyler who was speaking animatedly about one thing or another.
Yeah. Dancing with Connor will be fun.
Wednesday evening, Joe returns to West-Hill late. He had to drive to Brighton to retrieve the suit he had worn to his sister's wedding so he could wear it to the Spring formal dance on Friday.
He climbs out of his car, tired from the long, late drive and drapes the suit pieces over his arm. He sighs heavily, making his way from the parking lot toward the dormitory. He's ready to sleep. Connor had been nagging him about the dance for the past three days, though he didn't know there could be that much to worry about. The dance was here at West-Hill so they didn't have to worry about transportation. Joe had the suit, Connor was taking care of his own attire, and they didn't have to do anything other than show up to the damn dance.
Joe's just about to pull open the door to the dorm when he hears something...familiar.
A moan.
Curiosity officially piqued, Joe tip toes past the main door and heads for the corner of the building.
"Nngh, harder!"
Joe covers his mouth with one of his hands.
The voice definitely belongs to Tyler.
When Joe finally peeks around the corner, he sees the back of Tyler's head, pastel hair in the moonlight. He's got his face pressed up against the wall of the dormitory and his West-Hill trousers and his underwear are pooled around his ankles.
Caspar's behind him, pants undone, white button-up open as he fucks Tyler into the wall. His palms are splayed flat against Tyler's back as he thrusts into his ass relentlessly. He kisses the back of his boyfriend's head and then he -
He turns and meets Joe's gaze.
Joe remains completely still, but he knows that Caspar recognizes him, even in the moonlight. Caspar pauses mid-thrust, eyes wide and his breathing seems to get caught in his throat. Tyler pushes back, impaling himself on Caspar's dick and Caspar seems to remember he's got a job to finish. He resumes fucking him but his eyes never leave Joe's.
Resting his head against the edge of the wall, Joe doesn't stop watching. He's turned on. He's captivated. He's...jealous. Maybe. He's sickened at himself for this, for watching something that should be intimate, something between lovers but he can't help himself.
Caspar presses his cheek against the back of Tyler's head to keep him from looking in Joe's direction.
His hand twitches, as if he wants to reach toward Joe.
He doesn't. Looking almost frustrated, he removes one hand from Tyler's back and slips it around to his stomach to pull him closer, to fuck him harder. He quickens his thrusts and groans loudly into the night.
Joe wants to moan with him.
Instead, he reaches a hand between his legs to adjust his sudden, aching erection in his pants.
Caspar notices the movement, hips stutter, and he comes almost immediately.
Joe only stays long enough to see Caspar come down from the high. (I just got a notification that Joe's on younow..)
By the time Caspar returns to their dorm room, Joe is curled up in bed on the verge of sleep.
