No More Tears

Tea and Sympathy

"So as you see, now she's gone,  I'm pretty much on my own.  I just miss her so much , for the little things - you know?"  Susie sipped the tea, still piping hot in the paper cup. Strangely, she had felt able to open up to this complete stranger more easily than anyone else.  Not even her family, few and far between as they were.

"I do understand" Loki placed his hand on her arm and smiled. For the first time in a very long time, he felt he'd met someone who understood his own torment.  Despite his inherent distrust of Midgardians, he recognised a soul in pain.  "I - I lost my mother recently too." he said softly, his eyes moist.

For a moment she looked at him, then a single tear rolled down her cheek.  "I'm so sorry, I had no idea." she looked at her cup, biting her lip. "I shouldn't have burdened you.  Not when you have your own grief.  That was selfish of me." she looked up and her eyes locked with his, their shared emotion flooding between them.  Loki smiled, putting his own cup down and taking hers.  He placed it to the side of them and took both her hands in his.  They were small and delicate nestled in his long, slim fingers. There was a strangely comforting feeling as he did so, that this wouldn't be the last time he would hold her hand.

"Never apologise for how you feel.  All too often, feelings are ignored, squashed and quite simply discounted.  Feelings are important tools in how we deal with the world.  Someone hurts you?  You want to hurt them back.  Someone makes you feel valued and important to them?  You want them to feel the same.  Someone loves you?  Well, you know where I'm going with this don't you." he rubbed the backs of her hands with his thumbs and she smiled, at last.

"Thank you" she said softly. "I - I'm ashamed to say I don't even know your name?" she removed her hands slowly, almost reluctantly, and picked up her cup.  Looking over the rim, she could sense him deliberating. "It's ok, I understand if you just want this to be an anonymous 'one of those things' kind of moment." 

"No, it's just, well, it's complicated." Loki said with a sigh, she had NO idea just how complicated it really was. "perhaps we will meet again though.  If you come to the park a lot?" He deflected the conversation so, for the first time in his adult life, he wouldn't be forced to lie.  Even in London, even the way he looked now, he couldn't risk revealing who he really was.  It was nice to be liked for a change.

"Well, not as much as I would like, I start my new job tomorrow.  But yes, I will be around I think.  Now that I know it's not going to be a place just to mourn.  I'm sure it will be a place to make new memories." she stared at him, the oddest feeling washing over her.  A sense of calm, a sense of expectation and a touch of... no. Not that.  Don't be stupid. She shook herself mentally. How sad and lonely had she become, one cup of tea and she was desperate to see this handsome, kind stranger again.  He could be an axe murderer for all she knew!

"Yes, I'm sure it shall." Loki stood up with a smile "Now, I'm afraid I have to get this little monster back to base." he clicked his fingers and the sleeping dog instantly sat up, looking expectantly at him.  He felt a tiny glimmer of guilt, deceiving her about him but it was all good cover.  And a good excuse to come back.

"He's very cute" Susie said, ruffling his head "I don't know his name either sadly" she looked up and Loki nodded.

"Fenrir" he said softly.  "His name's Fenrir"

Susie frowned "Wasn't that a wolf?  And a mythical one at that?"  Loki was amazed. 

"Yes - yes it was.  I just have a thing for Norse Mythology.  I - err - couldn't get a wolf so this little guy had to do." it wasn't so very far from the truth.  Wandering about with a large wolf would hardly have been subtle.

"Well Fenrir, it's been a pleasure.  Take care of your Dad ok?  Who knows what trouble his kind heart might get him into?" she stood and held out her hand. "Goodbye Fenrir's Dad, maybe we'll meet again soon." 

For a moment, Loki stood unsure what to do or say. His Silver Tongue had deserted him for once.  What he really wanted to say was to confess all, what he really wanted to do was hold her and tell her she need never be lonely again.  But he couldn't, could he.  So he did neither. He raised her hand to his lips and bowed.  "Adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow." he looked at her as he gently squeezed her hand then let it go.

She flushed and turned away before she made a complete fool of herself.  Now all she wanted to do was kiss him.  How desperately inappropriate was that? Walking away quickly, she turned just the once and saw his standing watching her go.  She raised a hand to wave and so did he. Something in that simple gesture warmed her heart.  Things, she thought, were going to be different from now on.  

She had NO idea.

Loki watched her walk away with mixed emotions.  Part of him wanted to see her again, she was pretty, she was intelligent and she understood his pain.  Part of him though, knew it was a recipe for disaster. Getting involved with a Midgardian?  Look how that had turned out for his brother. And exactly how would he tell her he was Loki, Prince of Asgard, rightful heir to the Jotun throne and destroyer of New York?  If anything was going to ruin things, that would pretty much do it.

No, he would just have to keep her , all of them, at a safe distance.  Wake up Laufeyson, he told himself.  How can you have a proper, honest relationship when even your damned dog is a lie?

Turning on his heel, he walked back to the apartment.  As he entered both his beard and "Fenrir" vanished in a haze of green and Loki smiled.  Maybe that WAS the best kind of dog.  No feeding and NO pooping!  With a chuckle, he walked into the kitchen and poured himself a beer.  There was one small consolation for being stuck on this Godsforsaken planet.  Their TV.  Walking back to the living room and switching it on, he flopped onto the sofa.  He briefly flicked the channels  and settled on some mindlessly entertaining gameshow.  If only Thor could see him now.  He'd see what a 'threat' to humanity he was these days.

His mobile phone pinged a few minutes later and with a growl, he picked it up.  This, was NOT one of the things he liked about Midgard.  A text flashed at him.  Sighing, he opened it.  It was from his so-called parole officer.

"Mr Laufeyson. Mr Stark gave me your number and address.  I will be round to see you tomorrow at 10am sharp.  Please make sure you're in and ready to start on your tasks. Failure to co-operate could result in withdrawal of privileges.  S Wilson."

He groaned and threw the phone onto the sofa next to him. He felt like going out tomorrow on purpose.  He hated being treated like a naughty child the whole time.  He was a God! They were all beneath him.  He stopped and grimaced.  Last time he'd had those thoughts, he'd ended up embedded in Tony's floor.  With a quick glance around to reassure himself, he settled back.  

Watching the TV, his mind wandered.  To the girl in the park.  Where was she and what was she doing?  More to the point, would he ever see her again?