Ephemeral

The Ceremony

I took one step down the aisle and a soft classical music hit my ears – it wasn't that corny, typical 'here comes the bride' music and instead...it was different. I felt my face turn into a small frown at the thought that Aidan was trying to calm me down -- as though I were a rabid beast that he needed to tame.

I could spot Aidan at the very end of the aisle -- he was wearing a black suit and held his hands in front of him, patiently waiting for me to come to him willingly. He was staring at me the instant that my foot had entered the large, spacious room. Aidan was standing at the front of the church where his father was to the immediate left of him.

I took another step before a startling pain shot up my right calf –

The pews were packed with people that I hadn't recognized, and I could feel a small layer of sweat built up on my forehead. They were all standing up and stared over at me, and I could feel the fragrant scent of the roses that were resting at my waist level. My ankles suddenly grew weak and I couldn't stop the amount of shaking that overcame my entire body, forcing me to tighten the death hold I had on the bouquet.

I can't do this...

I can't do this-!

You have to.

I need to run away...!

I turned my right foot about to sprint back to where I had entered, but the inner voices inside of my mind kept me rooted in place. I hadn't thought I would ever hear that taunting voice that echoed my own ever again – the one that spoke the absolute truth no matter how much I didn't want to admit it. It continued to tell me its words of wisdom that I knew came from somewhere deep inside of myself:

You're saving lives.

I gritted my teeth together in a mixture of anger and frustration –

At the expense of my own-??

I breathed out heavily from my nose --

Why do I have to be the savior of others-?

You have to because you can.

I felt myself begin walking down the aisle, ever a slight tremble in my step. I had nearly rolled my ankle as I took another step before I quickly corrected my posture. With a brief look down at the ground, I noticed black and red rose petals that littered the path that I was walking on.

It must be a sign of his deathly love that he gives me – the black petals represent death, and the red stands for love. I hated what it could possibly represent and how planned out this entire wedding ceremony was.

I felt their eyes on me – the multiple stares that seemed to lock onto me. I quietly let out a sigh and I kept my head lowered to avoid all the stares that I was getting. I got it – who wouldn't want to stare at the bride on her special day...?

Except this wasn't my day –

It wasn't my day-!

Keep going.

I breathed out heavily once again, finding that my body was acting on autopilot at this point.

Even as my inner thoughts were having their battle -- my body still sided with that annoying, righteous voice in my head. It was different from when I was back in the forest, before Brendon and Esther took me in. This time, instead of being pessimistic and negative...it had transformed into a positive, courageous voice.