Heal Me

Chapter 6

Bella

Bella focus you have sugar, eggs what can you make from this COOKIES  you can make cookies and an omelet.

GODD YOU ARE SO LOUD BELLS JEEZ I WAS TRYING TO SLEEP.I heard my conscience telling me to shut the hell up.

I added melted butter white and brown sugar with vanilla extract and then I mixed it well.Then I added flour and made  a dough out of it  and set the cookies in the oven.

One of the most happiest moments of my life where I feel like living is while I am cooking it gives me joy and pleasure to bake but today it is different I feel like I am rushing myself to just make everything perfect.

Yesterday as soon as I came out of the washroom I heared his voice.I couldn't believe my eyes and the fear of facing him got the worst in me.

So I decided to leave the venue I decided no matter what I can't face him.

I heard my conscience mocking me but I just left and reached the garden when I  felt myself  dizzy and not able to breathe the thought of  seeing him when I was desperately trying to avoid I couldn't.

I wish this was easier I thought he forgot about everything but as soon as I turned around I looked at his stone cold eyes it held no remorse gone was the sweet innocent guy I know coming back was a mistake but not when the only place I call home was here after all it's been five years since I last saw him.

To make things thousands time worst Steven introduced me as his fiance and I couldn't breathe I felt suffocated but that's true I can't always run away from the fact that I had to marry him to pay off my father's business debts.

I got the smell of something burning and I guess I overbaked my cookies and in a hurry I removed them with my bare hands and it stinged I dropped the tray and cursed myself I felt my eyes teary I fell down to the ground.

I  held my knees and sobbed until I couldn't feel anything I was happy so happy with him but he had to ruin everything for me I loved him with all my heart but he broke up with me without giving me an explanation or even before expressing how I feel about him.

I sobbed for all those time I wanted to come back because I couldn't take it anymore.I sobbed for my mother who cried because we couldn't afford to eat.

And lastly I sobbed for my pathetic life  that every single time I try to gather myself I fail to do so.

After about crying for three hours I went to my room and thought how different would my life have been if my father didn't leave us but since he did and left us for good but I was my Papa's little angel and I loved him so much that's why  I write to him every single time I feel lonely knowing that he doesn't care about writing one back to me.

So that's what I did now I wrote to him told him how I miss him how I missed our old memories together when he used to take me to the beach and we would eat candy floss and he would carry me once I got tired of playing  and then when to the post office to deliver it  with a sigh I went to my house.

I decided to not let  Darien be one of the reasons stopping me from having a fresh start so I decided to just ignore our past and focus on the present that can't be hard right I just have to slide in obey his instructions and finish my work and leave.