♠ ♦ Alice in Borderland ♣ ♥

46

With a strange feeling I look at the large zeppelin with the white card below it. An hour ago the image of the queen of hearts was still visible; of Mira. Now it remains to be seen whether the players who are inside will succeed in completing the game, or whether another group will have to try.

It's strange to think that our time might finally be up after all those weeks. No more games, no more dead people. No more choices that could result in death. But above all: no memory of it. That's a crazy idea; as I stand now, the mark Borderland has left on me will never be able to go away. Still, it's really happening to us and I'm not the only one who has trouble with that.

'It's hard to believe we'll wake up in a hospital bed and have no memory of this place,' Soran sighs as I take my eyes off the zeppelin and look at him. 'The last thing we will remember is running away as a group from the impact of the fireworks. We'll wake up and find out that five of the eight are dead.' I look at him sadly and nod.

'I'll wake up and realize that Kenta is dead,' Yuki sighs, 'and maybe Kyo is too. Will I grieve for him, or will my body feel disgust for him? I won't have the memories anymore, but what if my body senses something isn't right about him? What if I'll feel guilty about that?'

'It's going to be okay, Yuki,' I say, moving myself onto the couch next to him, grabbing his hand. 'We will meet again and I will support you.' He tries to smile, but the sadness just won't leave his eyes. 'Is it bad to want them to hurry up already?' he sighs. 'I want them to clear the game so we can finally go home.'

'If that's bad, then all three of us are sinners,' I reply.

Will we really be able to pick up our lives again? Will I really be as far along in processing Kaito's death in the real world as I was here? Will that wall between Soran and me stay away in the real world, too? Will I really meet Yuki again?

It's so strange. Every day I fervently wished that I could go home, that all death and destruction would cease. Now that moment seems to be just around the corner and I feel fear and uncertainty. The waiting makes us miserable. We want to be able to close the games, but we still keep in mind that there is a chance that we will have to play one more game. I try to keep myself calm, but I end up pacing through Yuki's old room.

'What would be a nice first date, do you think?' Soran suddenly asks. He looks from me to Yuki with a grin on his face. 'What?' I mumble with red cheeks. Yuki also reacts withdrawn. 'I assume you won't meet at a bar in the real world.' I roll my eyes, but I can manage to put on a small smile. 'Certainly not,' I reply. Yuki doesn't seem too keen on it either. 'Dinner at Tenjin's restaurant?' Soran says, amused. 'At your old place of work,' he adds, nudging Yuki. 'With Dad watching?!' I exclaim, laughing. 'No thanks!'

'At a resort?' Soran says. 'Maybe the Beach is a really nice place in real life.' Yuki shrugs. 'I guess I don't really care, as long as I'm with Kairi.' My cheeks start to glow again and Soran starts laughing. 'It's crazy to think that I didn't trust you to begin with.'

'"Didn't trust"?' I exclaim. 'That's quite an understatement.' Soran scratches his ear uncomfortably. 'Well, yeah... I came back from it, didn't I? You're pretty cool, Yuki.' Yuki smiles at him lightly. 'You too, Soran.' I look at the two boys with a smile on my face. Suddenly I can't wait to be in the real world with them.

'Let's say goodbye to this world,' I suggest. It's quite a dangerous idea, since we're not sure we're done playing yet, but I have a feeling that we are. Therefore we move through the streets and end up at a fountain in a square. Water doesn't flow now, but soon it will in the real world.

'As twisted as it sounds,' Yuki says as we sit on the edge of the fountain, 'I'm grateful to this world, too. Here I met you. Here I found out that I can do much more than I thought possible.' I nod. 'It's terrible that so many people have died, but... We have definitely become stronger.' Soran also agrees.

The feeling of closure spreads further and further through my body. All miserable feelings sink to the bottom, leaving warmth more and more. With my heart beating fast, I run my hand over the hard stones, until I meet Yuki's much sooner than expected. He had the same idea. We try to do it secretly, but of course Soran knows. 'Let me give you some privacy,' he says with a grin. He moves himself out of ear range, then drops himself onto the grass in relief.

'Um...' Yuki mumbles. I don't really know what to say either. We look at each other awkwardly and then start laughing. 'Thank you, Kairi,' he starts. 'Thanks to you I survived Borderland. Thank to you I managed to keep going.' I move a little closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder. 'Me too, thanks to you, Yuki.' I take the MP3-player out of my pocket and share an earpiece with him. I curl up the corners of my mouth when "Head high" starts playing. It reminds me of that morning Soran and I rode the subway to school together. That seems so long ago.

'Make a stand with my head high,' I sing along with the music again, loud enough for Soran to hear. 'With my head high!' This time he makes me sing the high note. I can hear him laughing loudly from this distance. 'I'm sorry,' I mumble while looking at Yuki with red cheeks, 'it's a joke between Soran and me...' Yuki shakes his head and looks at me, radiant. 'I like to see you so carefree. Hopefully I can experience that much more often.' I allow the warm feeling to flow through my body. 'I hope so, too,' I tell him. I rest my head on his shoulder and enjoy his warmth and the music.

We're startled by the sound of a laser beam passing through the air, followed by trumpet music. 'Game cleared,' I hear echoing through the speakers in the square, 'congratulations.' Soran jumps up and sprints back to us. 'Is it over?' we ask, looking at each other hopefully.

'All survivors,' echoes through the air, 'please answer the following question individually. From now on, you may choose to continue playing these games until death, as a Borderland citizen in the following games as permanent residence.'

Yes, it's over. All games flash past my eyes.

'You now have the choice to accept or decline this position. Do you accept or refuse?'

'I refuse,' Soran says directly. 'I refuse,' Yuki says. I don't even think twice about it. 'I refuse,' I say.

I blink my eyes and feel my consciousness sink deeper and deeper.