Boarding School - Phan

3. It's not a choice

      When Dan woke up on Sunday, jack wasn't there. He probably slept at becky's house or somewhere with Zoey. Dan couldn't care less. He realised Jack and his friends were nothing like him, and he didn't need to be friends with them to be cool. He didn't need "to be cool" or "popular". He just wanted real friends who liked the same stuff as him.

       On sundays, it was boring at school. People would just sleep, study, or go home for one day.. So Dan didn't get the chance to see anyone he met the night before, at the party, and Jack didn't show up. He was alone with his thoughts. He tried to spend some time on Youtube but he couldn't help it. All he could think about was Phil.

It wasn't  like a "love at first sight" thing. He wasn't literally falling in love with Phil - not just yet. It was that weird feeling.. he wanted to get to know Phil, he wanted to be his friend - but he also had this urge to kiss him. He wasn't sure about what he felt, if it was real, or if it was just a phase, or a confusion. Truth is, he didn't care about girls anymore. He didn't want to fuck Jessica, or any other girl. He was glad nothing really happened with Jessica because it would be weird, to have sex with someone he literally didn't /want/ to. Even though he felt that way, he judged himself. He tried to force himself to like girls, he forced himself to forget about any boy-sexual-related-thing. He didn't /want/ to be gay. But some things we just can't decide.

~dan's pov~

         It was my first proper day at school. I was there since Saturday, but on monday I'd start going to classes and stuff. I was nervous, because I'd see Jessica, all the people from the party, and... Phil.

When I woke up, Jack was already adjusting his hair on the mirror and getting ready for breakfast.

"Good morning sunshine" he said.

"morning." -

 I'm not a morning person, you see?

He was telling me things about zoey that I didnt really care, when..

"so how was the party for you?And Jessica?" he asked.

"She passed out when we were about to have sex... Awkward, isn't it?" - I laughed. of course I could just blame her and make things easier.

"Ooh jessica... That's just her. Sorry Dan, I should've tried to find a better girl for you. I can't really remember much about the party. So, sorry if I said or did something stupid."

"don't worry man." I started. "What's your first lesson? Because I have no idea where my class is and stuff, could you help me?"

I didn't really like Jack but I needed someone to help me with this.

In the dining hall, I could see everyone from the party and it was funny to see how different they were now, at school.  - everyone but Alex, Carrie, Jessica, Becky, and Phil.

I was having breakfast with Jack, william and Olie - his friends that were extremely annoying- when Emma saw me. We had a boring conversation, and

she said something like "I'll see you around" and went away. I could feel jack judging me when I looked back at them. I knew they found emma a loser, but I didn't give a shit.