Razorblade |-/ Tyler Joseph Fic

chapter eleven

It felt like I had just fallen asleep when I felt Lizzie moving around next to me, so I reluctantly opened my eyes to see what was up. She was still asleep, and she was kind of thrashing around. I grabbed her shoulder and tried to shake her awake, but she shoved me away, hard.

And then she was screaming. She was clawing at the blankets she was tangled with, and she was screaming. I was worried that she was going to tear out her IV, so I grabbed her arm, but she kept fighting me away.

Josh had woken up and was just staring at her with wide eyes.

"Help me!" I shouted at him, which made him flinch, but then he rushed right over.

"Grab her arm," I instructed him. "Don't let her touch her IV." I carefully got a hold of her cannula and ripped it away so she didn't get it wrapped around her throat. She was still fighting and crying, and I didn't know what to do to wake her up. I just kept saying her name, and trying to keep her still.

"It's just a dream," I told her over and over. "It's just a dream." I felt sick. Nothing I tried worked.

But finally she opened her eyes, which let out some tears, and stopped struggling when she saw me.

"Lizzie?" I asked, sitting her up.

And then she just broke out into tears. She clung to me like I was the only thing keeping her alive, and the way she cried broke my heart.

"I'm getting her some water," Josh told me, then hurried upstairs.

I pressed my cheek to the top of Lizzie's head and began rocking her back and forth. She seemed to be trying to get control of her breathing, but it was hard for her. She kept gasping like a kid without an inhaler.

I just kept telling her that she was awake, because I didn't know what else to do. After she stopped shaking, I asked, "You okay?"

She nodded, and then she whispered, "I'm sorry."

I closed my eyes and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Don't apologize. You're fine."

She nodded again and wrapped her arms around me, taking in a deep breath before letting it out in a heavy sigh.

Josh came back with a couple bottles of water, handing one to Lizzie and putting the other one by her bag.

Lizzie drank almost half of the bottle before setting it down and asking, "Where's my cannula?" Her voice was all worn out.

"Here." I grabbed it from a blanket and helped her put it back on. "You can go back to sleep, Josh," I said quietly, looking back at him.

"You sure?" he replied.

Both of us nodded, so he sighed, grabbed a blanket, and laid back down on his pillow.

About 10 minutes later, I was still holding her and periodically giving her kisses to the top of her head.

"Are you going back to sleep?" I asked Lizzie.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"Okay." I grabbed a nearby blanket and wrapped it around the two of us before laying down with her. I didn't keep her in my arms, in case she had another nightmare, but I just held her hand and stroked it with my thumb.

--

I almost fell asleep -- I was caught in that in-between world again -- when I felt Lizzie let go of my hand and stand up. I kept my eyes closed until I heard the patio door open. She's not leaving?

I stood up and walked to the patio door, where Lizzie was outside, just sitting there. I debated whether or not to go out and see her. This looked like it was the only time alone she'd had in a long time, and I didn't want to disturb it.