(Brother Series - Book One)
Asher Bernardi; A teenage boy dealing with the trauma of transferring from one foster home to another after he was given up at the fine age of two years old, each home is worst than the last, what happens when his curren...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
~Salvatore Blake Bernardi ~
I think there's a huge part of me that is so fucking afraid of being happy.
Feeling comfortable.
Letting people in.
Letting Asher in.
Whenever I get too happy... Whenever I get too comfortable...
Something bad always happens.
Ever since the little moment with Asher in his room, I felt myself subconsciously watching his every move... I just really fucking wanted to be available to just jump the second he needed me. I wanted to feel like he actually needed me and it wasn't just an odd chance that I was the one that comforted him that night.
Deep down I know he would always run to the eldest, he always has, but it was really nice to feel needed for once.
I've realized that the fear of losing him trumps the fear of losing myself.
Sometimes I really wish I could go back in time and punch myself in the face for the way I treated my little brother when he first arrived.
Maybe things now would be so different if I did things differently in that moment.
It had nothing to do with him, it had nothing to do with bullshit pride.
There was some part of me that truly believed if I didn't bond with him if something like this were to happen I would remain unaffected — which is incredibly selfish, I know.
But somehow I think I would feel even worse if I continued my bullshit quest. Although I still feel pretty damn awful.
"Dammit!" Alessandro shouts, startling me out of my thoughts.
We all adore Asher but even as a kid Alessandro and Ash were attached to each other and if we don't find our little brother soon then I am afraid our eldest brother is going to completely lose his shit.
"Sandro, you need to breathe. You can't get him back if your head isn't in the right place." Dahlia attempts to calm him down as she rubs his arm slowly.
"She's right. You two go take a walk, we can handle this for an hour, all our heads need to be clear." Dario adds.
Alessandro looked like he was ready to argue but Dahlia gave a small nod before dragging him towards the back sliding door.
"He wrote me a card." I whisper.
"What are you on about?" Mattia questions as he sits beside me on the sofa, he has this 'fuck all of you, I hate you' attitude most of the time but we all knows he cares about all of us, and given the way Asher is he has also never showed him that side of him. Granted he isn't warm towards him but he isn't hostile either.
