(Brother Series - Book One)
Asher Bernardi; A teenage boy dealing with the trauma of transferring from one foster home to another after he was given up at the fine age of two years old, each home is worst than the last, what happens when his curren...
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~ Asher Alexander Bernardi ~
I wish I wasn't born, I wish I wasn't alive. Sometimes I wish I could just vanish but it would be so much better if I never took my first breath in the first place.
I know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I really fucking wish I knew what that reason was and if there was simply a way to prevent it entirely.
It's sad the way sadness is addicting... Ironically.
The way I can't seem to stop.
Sadness is familiar.
It's comfortable and it's easy, in a sense that it seems to come naturally to me, but everything else about it is so incredibly hard.
The way my body aches with self-hatred, the way my mind spins and spins and spins and spins with hopeless thoughts. The way it poisons everything I do or say, or every relationship I could potentially have.
Yet it's so damn addicting, I know sadness and I know it so freaking well. There's a sort of comfort in that, like being home after a long road trip or sleeping in your bed after being away for a longer period of time.
It almost feels as though this is where I'm meant to be, and with that... There is no way out.
I'm so incredibly lost right now — and perhaps I have always been lost, so am I really actually lost? I doubt that makes sense.
The birds have something to sing about this bright morning.
Even the colorful skies show more emotion than I have felt during my sixteen years of life.
Staring at the body that doesn't belong to me.
The way I feel extraordinarily dizzy this supposedly beautiful morning.
The way I will stand up straight and go on just like everyone expects me to.
"Ash, you have to get going... Salvatore wants to leave without you!" Rocco shouts through the house.
Another day of pure hell.
**
Once again I was slammed into the lockers, a cry of pain escaped my mouth as I felt the pressure of the cold metal.
The more days that go by the more pain I seem to be in, and the room is still spinning. My head hitting the lockers didn't help.
"Fucking wimp." The guy mumbled — I recognized him as the guy that slammed me into the lockers when I met Amelia, the coach's son, I just don't remember his name unfortunately.
I could see the teenager shouting intensify but the moment his hand went over my throat and his body pressed against mine, my ears started to ring and the world blurred.
I'm not even sure how long it was before Quinns comforting yet loud voice broke me from the haze. "Fucking hell, let go of him!"
"Why the fuck do you care so much about the useless fucking transgender. She isn't worth it so just fucking walk away."
"First of all... Why do I care? He is fucking human. Secondly, dude your dad is literally your coach, your dad was also caught fucking Mr. Giovanni so get the fuck out of here before I inform him how much of a pussy ass bigot his son is. Now you, why won't they leave you alone? Everyone should know not to even breathe in the direction of a Bernardi." That seems a bit harsh...
"It's not like anyone knows what my last name even is." I found myself whispering before I could stop it.
"What?!"
"Salvatore doesn't want us to know we are related." I'm not sure why but it's easy spilling every thought when it comes to Quinn.
"I'm going to kill him-" they mumble, "you're sticking by me until further notice."
Wait, what?
**
"Why the fuck is he here!" Salvatore shouts and Quinn and I approach his table. I knew this was a bad idea, being with Quinn is fine but they don't come home with me... I shouldn't have told them anything.
"You need to seriously take the stick out of your ass so I can fucking beat you with it, I've had it up to here with you and if you don't get the fuck over yourself you will regret it. Perhaps much sooner than you thought."
The yelling continues, and just like moments before the already spinning room became blurry and the ringing in my ears grew louder and louder by the millisecond.
"Salvatore shut the fuck up for five damn seconds. Asher, are you okay?"
That was that thing I heard before everything faded to black.
