I Want Your Virginity

Thoughts

Like we planned Mani came over right after school and I had to fight back the urge to interrogate her and find out what the hell was wrong. I could tell the pain medicine was wearing off and that she was in even more pain.
"You can go wait in my room I'll be right up."
"Alright thanks." I rummaged around my kitchen till I found some ibuprofen then I poured a glass of water and took it to her.
"Here drink this, it should help." I handed her the pills and water ignoring her surprised look.
"Oh, thank you!" I waited until I could tell she was feeling better then we jumped into the project. By the time we finished the section for today it was 4:15 and we had already took a snack break so there was nothing to do.
I sat watching her- not in a creepy way but to figure out what was wrong.
"Armani."
"Huh?"
"Although we haven't known each other for long, you can trust me with anything." I wasn't going to force her to tell but I wanted to make sure she knew that I'd always listen.
"Okay and thanks Louis for not pestering me about it."
"Of course, I want you to tell me if and when you're comfortable."
.....
I arrived at Blake's house on time and frustrated. I couldn't get her out of my mind, I wanted so desperately for Mani to tell me what's hurting her. I knew it would take some time but I had never been a patient guy. A knock on my car window brought me back to reality.
"Hey man, you good?" Carter asked.
"Yeah I'm good." I got out of the car and together we made our way inside. I never stopped to think about how Armani would feel if she finds out about mine and the guys contest. I pray to God that if she finds out she doesn't hate me. Honestly though even if we weren't doing the game, I would've still pursued her whether to be friends or lovers doesn't matter.
We've been doing this game since freshman year and I never really cared how the girls would feel afterward because by the time we actually had sex, they were different people. They were no longer innocent, shy, and nerdy. They were full of themselves and popular. I guess you could blame part of that on us. But with Mani I feel that she won't change even if we had sex or were dating, if anything she'll become more confident.
"Lu? Are you sure you're good? You've just been standing there for the past five minutes."
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, my head is just hurting."
"Alright well come on." We went into the basement and I saw that the rest of the guys were down there already
"Finally got him to come back down to earth huh?" Jason smirked.
"Yeah." Carter laughed as him and I sat down with the others.
Then the meeting started.
........
Armani's POV
After I had Louis drop me off a couple of houses down, I decided I didn't actually want to go home so I went to the park instead. I sat on the swings the whole time lost in thought.
My dad wasn't always like this, we used to have a great relationship. My mother was never apart of the picture, she left after I was born, she never wanted kids. But that didn't matter because my dad was amazing at doing both roles.
Sometimes I would get jealous of the the other little girls who went out and did mother and daughter things. When I was younger my school would hold mother daughter dances along with father daughter dances. I would always get kinda gloomy and start to think how a part of my life was missing but I remember one year my dad came in with a wig on and we danced during the mother daughter dance, the whole time the both of us couldn't stop laughing, I never felt left out at those dances again.
We went through all the awkward puberty stages together, sometimes though he'd have to ask his close lady friend for advice. I could tell him anything, I guess you could say we were best fiends. Us against the world.
But then it all changed.
I don't even know why. If it was something I did or something that happened to him, I have no clue. One day he just came home drunk and upset and maybe it's because he needed something, someone to take his anger out on and I was the only one there.
All he did that day was yell at me and slap me, the next morning though, he apologized and told me that he didn't know what came over him and that he'd never do it again. He didn't touch me again for a month and then the beatings were regular along with him coming home drunk.
Obviously our relationship was never the same. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve such horrible treatment. Sometimes he'd even starve me. For some period of time I was really depressed to the point where I stopped talking and I self harmed.
But as the years went by, I became accustomed to the beatings and I had things and people in my life to make me happy for the most part. I stopped self harming although some scars still linger on my skin but I barely talk now because when the beatings started every time I'd say something or make a noise he'd hit harder so I just got use to holding my tongue.
I still wish that this was just a bad nightmare and that I'd wake up with my old dad at my side as we took on the world. But I know that's not the case. This is my reality now, no matter how tragic it is.
I took out my phone and saw that it was nearing 6:00 so I decided to head home and start dinner before my father made an appearance. On my walk, more like limp, home I couldn't help but think of Louis. The reason I didn't want to tell him about the beatings is because I don't want people to hate my dad, this is not who he really is. I know who he really is. He's my daddy, the one who has been there for me through everything until the beatings started he was my favorite person, my walking diary, my friend. I know what he does is despicable and wrong but I can't find it in me to hate him.
I know something happened to make him like this, I just don't know what. What he does to me is not okay but I want to know why he started doing what he does and why he continues to do it. I was his baby girl, the one he used to love and care for. The one who did all his favorite things with him.  The one who loves him with all her heart. The one he used to tuck in every night.

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I updated finally.
Sorry for the wait, honestly.
💕💕💕