Lovingly Yours -- Scaramouche

lovingly yours.

Dear Y/N,

Y/N, I missed you. I have a few things I want to say. No, I need to say.

First of all Y/N I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was stupid enough to not read your letters because I was scared, I was scared to be reminded of you again, I was scared to remember our relationship that just didn't work out.

I do know that it's way too late for me to make it up to you, but I want you to know that I regret not reading your letters. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I miss you so much Y/N.

I just found out recently about your current...situation, atleast two months after your last letter. I'm sorry Y/N, I'm sorry I wasn't able to accompany you in your last few moments, I'm sorry I didn't come, I'm sorry I ignored your letters, I'm sorry I couldn't even see you, at least once.

I'm sorry I couldn't be with you.

Y/N I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry. I was scared to be close with you again, I was scared to be abandoned again, and most especially by the person I've ever loved the most, but that already happened, and now I was scared of feeling the same pain and guilt I felt when I first got betrayed again.

It's so stupid I know, I'm just sorry. I miss you so much, and I know that none of my letters (that I'll probably send in the future) can make it up to you.

I was terrible for ignoring your letters. I truly do regret that.

Second of all, Y/N I still love you, and I'll love you forever, and for as long as possible. I'll never get tired of loving you, even if death may do us part, I'll never stop loving you, I'll never give up on you, even if you already gave up on loving me. It hurts yes but this is the consequence I need to face because of my neglectic actions.

Remember our promise? 'I will always love you, no matter what happens, may it be forced or death, I will still love you, to the very end.'

Remember that? Unfortunately you broke your own promise, but I will not, even if you already stopped loving me, I will keep loving you.

I know we don't have a chance to rekindle and fix our relationship again because you're you know, but I will love you, I will make you my first and last love.

I will never give up on loving you, I will never give up on us, even if there's no us anymore.

Third, I miss you. I miss you so much, I miss your face, I miss your scent, I miss your laugh, I miss your smile, I miss your cheery personality, I miss waking up next to you, I miss your hugs, I miss your kisses, I miss everything about you.

Everything reminds me of you and I can't help but just think of you, you've always stayed in my mind, and you never left.

My dreams were about you, my topics in conversations were about you, my journal is about you, my everything is about you.

And I love you.

Last is that.

Thank you, thank you for making me feel appreciated while in our relationship, thank you for supporting me and being there for me, thank you for helping me get through tough times, thank you for everything and everything you've done for me.

I appreciate everything, I appreciate you. I hope you're looking over at me right now, I hope you're watching over me above.

Just remember, it wasn't your fault that we broke up, you didn't drive me crazy to the point that I had to end it all.

It wasn't your fault, it was mine.

Once the time is right, we might meet again, we might reconcile or reunite again.

But for now.

Maybe we'll be better off in another life. Maybe we'll be fit together in our Next Life.(previous title: Next Life)

Lovingly yours
-Raiden Scaramouche
(Or Kunikuzushi)