ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍɪɴᴇ? | Hawk/ Eli Moskowitz | SLOW UPDATES

⋆⋅ 16 ⋅⋆

⁎  ᴡ ɪ ʟ ʟ ᴏ ᴡ  ⁎
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THE SOUND OF MY PHONE alarm woke me up this morning. The loud soul wrenching dings sending an instant migraine to my head.

I groan into my pillow case, turning over in hopes to make the sound go away. It doesn't. As the minutes pass the alarm gets more and more agitating.

I turn off the ear piercing alarm wishing i never woke up in the first place.

I hate my life.

I groan loudly before rolling out of bed. My body hits the floor with a smack.

I rub my eyes, the tips of my fingers paint a shade of black, as i realize i must have forgotten to take off my makeup from last night.

Well isn't that fan-fucking-tastic!.

No matter how hard i want this cold hard wood floor to swallow me whole, i know the chances aren't in my favour.

I hear my name being called from downstairs as i get up and walk to the bathroom across the hall to brush my teeth and wash my face.

The bathroom was pretty much a mess, which basically told me that Kai had already been in here this morning.

I do my business, brush my teeth, wash my face, get my clothes and basic do everything to get myself ready to actually leave the house.

Oh how i hated school. I used to have things to look forward too, but now it's just something i attend five days a week.

I wasn't learning anything new, i wasn't meeting any new people. The whole place was a shit show at the moment.

I look in the mirror, somewhat happy with how i look today. Maybe not my face, but at least my outfit is cute.

Before i walked downstairs i made sure to spray some perfume on myself, just so no one at school can accuse me of smelling bad.

I love when you pass people in public and they smell so scrumptious It momentarily takes your breath away. It's like in that moment your mind decides if you should follow the sweet smell or continue your day as if you didn't just smell the most breathtaking thing ever.

I aspire to be one of those people.

I walk downstairs to see Mom and Kai already eating breakfast. Mom has a book open, as kai picks at the food on his plate.

"Morning." I say, walking into the kitchen to grab a granola bar from the pantry.

"Good morning, how did you sleep?."

If i'm being honest i must have only slept for three hours max. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Part of me just thinks i do it for fun, but the other part of me has a few reasons as to why i can't close my eyes and relax.

I've dreaded waking up for almost my whole life, nothing exciting happens anymore. I feel like my brain thinks if i stay up later, today will never end, and tomorrow will never come.

I know it's not logical, or at all correct. But maybe one day, everything will just stop.

"I slept good." I lie through my teeth, opening up the package of my granola bar and taking a bite.

I don't want mom worrying about me. She has enough to worry about at the moment.

"What time does dad come home today?" Kai asks.