I am Lost (Completed)

Chapter 13

The last 3-4 weeks till Christmas break was the fastest weeks of my life. I have been so busy with all our Christmas exams that I have barely got time to myself much less any of my friends and family. Any time I talk with them its because they have demanded to speak with me and when they did, I only talked with them for like 5 minutes before I shut them out.

I know im a smart girl but that doesn't mean it comes easy and everything about my work just have to be 210 percent perfect before I will admit it in, no buts and no excuses for a crappy assignment. And its also an excuse that im busy to avoid talking too much with my fake family who I have been talking to 2 times in total since I found out the truth.

I still wear my contact lenses when im out and can't wait to stop wearing them ever again. From those 2 weeks of freedom from lenses I had in Belgium the lenses has been annoying my eyes ever since. Every time I get home from school, I take them out in a haste wanting to breathe properly and escape the lie I have to wear every day.

I have my last exam tomorrow and Lui's the day after mine so when he's done we will fly right back home to our family and have the best Christmas ever. I actually plan to go out Christmas shopping for presents tomorrow.

I have savings from working over the years but also since dad found me, my real dad he has given me an account filled to the brink with money I can just use whenever I want. Again, I tried to deny it, but he wouldn't let me.

Im not planning on using it though, although I know from Lui they usually give each other both small and big presents. Like last year for Christmas one of Lui's gift was a super car from the fast and furious movies he fancies a lot.

Im not planning on giving that grande presents but instead small, grateful presents. To each my brothers im going to give a frame of all of us together out in the forest one day I was there in the short 2 weeks where we are all laughing having fun.

That's currently the only present I have planned out so I hope tomorrow will be a good day where I will find exactly what my heart wants to give to my dear family. I got my cast off early this morning and I will go through some kind of rehab for a while, but I should be fine for a walk tomorrow I just hope it won't take too long to find them their presents.

The rest of the night I sat in the living room rehearsing my exam for the thousand time with Lui beside me also rehearsing his. Living with him has been fun despite us both being stressed out and extremely busy with each our homework and exams.

He is an extremely good cook from the few times I have eaten his food. Most of the time we just order take out or forget to eat which happens way to often might I say. I actually think we both have lost a few pounds after getting back to America something I know none of them back home will be happy about.

Being healthy is a big deal especially for my family since its important for us to keep healthy so we can perform our duties properly and as perfect as we can. Being sick does no help and im guessing when we get back cause Lui have decided to stay in America with me for the rest of the semester we will get a house cook.

Probably some help to clean up the condo too since their haven't been much time or energy for that these last few weeks. Hugging my bro goodnight, I walked up to my room exhaustingly sitting down after changing into my expensive nightwear opening up my diary.

Dear diary

Or scratch that!

Effing diary

What a day, what a week, what a month, what an effing semester already.

What's happening, please in gods name tell me what the hell is going on.

All these things happening lately, all the secrets coming out of the closet its stressing me out. At the same time, I have all my exams that I just have to prefecture or else im going to have a brain melt down. Believe me I love that I have found my real family and all that but its all just so much. I know I can do it; I know I can get over these hard trying times, with my family and friends help and hugs I can do it. And because im a strong woman I can do it. I promise myself to grow into a woman worthy of the throne of Belgium the strongest royal imperium in centuries, worthy of my family and worthy of myself. I promise myself that I will always aspire to be the best version of myself I can ever be and help my people, be kind, do good and do the best I can in everything.

After writing in my diary, I put it aside, turned off my light and tried to fall asleep. Like every other night for the past 6 weeks, it took me hours before I fell asleep despite how tired I am. I think the clock turned 3 am before I finally fell asleep, and my exam is at 10 am.

Groggily waking up at 8 am I took a quick shower before putting on my outfit for today's exam and makeup making sure I looked elegant and professional. With a sour look at my lenses, I put them on too, this hate filling me knowing the exact reason why I was wearing them.

With a few painkillers for my knee, I was good to go, and walked out of our condo after a good luck hug from Lui feeling confident in myself that I was going to make it with an excellent A+. And off course I walked in a did just that.

Like all the other times I have presented something in the past 1 and a half year I have attended here the professor and sensor were blown over by my wit and creative mind. I still hear praises for my presentation on my cars over 6 weeks later.

And no, I didn't tell them too much on my cars that day, just enough to blow them over. It would be insanely stupid to tell them my every thought and process, cause if I did that some stupid annoying person might steal my idea and take all the credit for it. I love cars just as many other people do on this earth.

Walking out with a smile on my face and phone calls from family wanting to hear how it went I walked back to our condo to change into something more comfortable for a Christmas shopping stroll. I was still talking on the phone with my parents when I reached our apartment Lui coming out to greet and congratulate me.

I got off the phone with my real parents just as Lui said he got a surprise for me with a big smile on his face. I fiddled with my necklace as usual following Lui into the living room a big wide smile of my own spreading when I saw my surprise.

"Tae what are you doing here?" I asked surprised walking over to him as fast as I could and hugged his tall frame.

"I wanted to surprise you and help you buy presents since Aiden said you were going out to buy presents after your exam" I stayed in his arms and not to play favorites, but I missed him the most while we were here in America. I miss Zau to a lot and also my parents, a little hard to miss Lui since we live together.

I have a closer bond to Tae since he is the only one, I have a vague memory of from when I was little. I hate what happened to me so much that I feel like I could kill for the wrongs done to my life. But im also insanely grateful that I found my way back to my real family.

"Awesome, let me change and then we can go" I hugged him again, before walking up to my room to change into something more appropriate for winter and a long walk.