July 31st, 1994

41 9 22
                                    

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝐹𝑜𝓊𝓇

6:17am.

One of those mornings where you just naturally wake up. No alarms screeching in your ears. No movement in the air that could have stirred you. No dreams on the mind that could have startled you.

No reason to have woken..., and yet you just do. Anxiety? A night filled with instances of waking up and falling back to sleep? Some internal clock forcing you awake moments before an alarm could scare you from sleep?

Could be anything, really.

Remus would place it on some weird combination of all three. After all, it was the 31st of July... not the best of days....

There were three days throughout the year when Remus had this problem. The problem of a restless night, waking far too early, feeling that onrush of dread. Having to wake up and feel absolutely nothing but an overwhelming desire to stay in bed all day. The almost... need to curl up and simply sleep away the day... much more appealing than actually facing the grief that grows with every moment spent awake.

February 20th.

July 31st.

October 31st.

Three days that, without fail, every year filled Remus Lupin with so much pain, he could practically drown in it.

Funny... well, no... just plain horrible how big events can so leave a mark that days themselves can be forever tainted. Year after year, bringing on the exact same pain. An inescapable pain... the days that cause it having to circle back year after year, the flow of time never stopping and never skipping.

Dates forced to just be a constant reminder of the past.

Remus, however, could not allow himself to be lost in the reminder of the past. He had to push through, get on with his life. Because the more years that pass by..., the less society allows for one to dwell on those bad days. The more one is expected to just be okay. It is horrible... but Remus did just have to push himself to conform.

And so he had to push himself along... and besides... he had an even greater responsibility tied to the day of July 31st now...

Making sure Iris Blackwell was okay... no, she would never be okay... so pushing along? No, he couldn't even consider making her do anything on that day. So... maybe perhaps just making sure she was... safe... getting through the day in whatever way she needed?

Remus nodded to himself, pushing himself from the warmth of his bed. Slowly working through his morning routine as he checked off his mental list of duties for the day.

Grocery shopping, laundry, prepping meals for the week, planning his budget for the next month, cleaning the oven... and most importantly.... Guarantee Iris makes it through the day.

That was his job.

His most important task... but just about anything regarding Iris, is always easier said than done.

For upon walking into the kitchen, Remus would be immediately drawn to the fridge. Stuck to it... a paper. A handwriting he had grown all too familiar with as his job as a teacher the previous school year.

I will be out all day, don't expect me back until tomorrow.

Remus could only really sigh at the note because, at the very least, Iris was holding true to her promise to at least leave a note before vanishing off. No matter how bare they always were... at least it gave him something. But the vagueness would definitely leave that hint of worry to sit on his mind.

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