*One Week Later
Camila's POV:
Lauren still isn't back at school yet, but who could blame her? I feel a pounding weight of guilt and shame everywhere, I can't seem to shake it off no matter how hard I try. I knew that Lauren was somewhat depressed at times, but after what happened I hadn't known it progressed. Sometimes I saw her eating lunch with her friends, and she looked happy, laughing and smiling. And maybe I was jealous..maybe I never had friends who cared enough about how you were feeling and more concerned about what makeup I was using. I regretted every single day leaving Lauren, but it's not like I can change now, not after all I've worked for. Michelle came up behind me disrupting my thoughts, "Are you feeling okay Camila? You haven't been talking as much lately." I shook my head and gave a weak smile, "No, thank you I'm doing just fine." Michelle seemed somewhat unconvinced but left to go talk to her friends anyways. As she left she gave a smile, "Tell Lauren hi for me, I miss her." I nodded, reassuring her and walked to my class.
Even though writing was my favorite class, I couldn't seem to concentrate anymore with Lauren absent. I sat tapping my pen on my desk and writing Lauren's name over and over until the bell rung. I stood up ready to leave the classroom when my teacher stopped me, "Oh Camila? Can I have a word?" As I turned and faced Mrs. Lovato she continued, "You seem a bit distracted these days, I love reading your writing but your assignments aren't getting turned in and you barely do work in class." Still distraught in thought I replied stuttering, "Oh I wasn't aware Mrs.Lovato, I'm so sorry I guess I just have a lot of things on my mind." She reassured me that everything was okay and I drove home, attempting to do homework but ending up looking at pictures of the older girl in the past.
I finally finished my homework after hours of procrastination and sat in my bed, tired as ever. I pulled out the scrapbook Lauren and I had made when we were kids. I smiled at the funny faces and all the great memories. The scrapbook was long, and I remembered decorating every page with her. I flipped to a page and stared inquisitively, flipping over the crinkly envelope. I opened the envelope and found an old lined paper inside, a letter obviously from Lauren. It read, "Dear Camz, I love you with all my heart, soul and mind. I love you when you crinkle your nose when you concentrate on writing or laugh really loud when you something funny. I love when you hug me and squeeze me so hard we end up laughing on the floor. I love when I can watch you get ready, and you ask if you look alright, but you always look absolutely beautiful. I love all of you and always will. I'll never leave you, if you never leave me. Thank you for being the best friend anyone could ask for. Love love, Laur. P.s: Look up at the stars tonight, you know I will too." Camila wiped a small tear running down her cheek and laid down on her pillow trying to forget the pain. She stayed there, clutching the letter in her hand and crying softly till she finally fell asleep.
Lauren's POV:
Camila hasn't visited me in a couple days. And by visit, I mean at night. She comes in every night and kisses me on the forehead as I pretend to sleep. She usually talks to me about her day, and always apologizes several times. I find it comforting even though she hurt me. I haven't been back to school because I didn't think I could face the questions or worse, Camila. I'm scared of what it will be like, will she continue to shut me out of her life or will she try to pursue friendship. I guess I'll cross that bridge when I need to. Everything reminds me of her. The color of my room, the foods I eat, the people I see, the things I do and places I see. It all leads back to her, and that sucks. I wish I could hold her like I used to and tell her it's gonna be alright, I wish I could make ice cream sundaes on our regular Tuesday nights, I wish I could talk and discuss everyday things. I miss her, I really do. Ever since my relapse it's been even harder. My parents are hovering over me like a hawk and my siblings are extra nice to me. Don't get me wrong it's nice to know they care but it's all so overwhelming and I'm so tired. My mom said I could go back to school when I was ready but I don't think I'll ever be ready. I tried opening the letter she gave me but each time I go to do so, anxiety takes over. I've been wearing her shirt for the past week and it's not good. I wish Camila didn't mean the absolute world to me when I'm just some girl she passes in the hallway now. It hurts to know we used so much more than that.
