𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 | 𝐃.𝐄.

05

Roman folded his arms across his chest, taken back at the way she'd just read him like a book. He hated how she was able to do that. He'd barely given her any details and she knew exactly what was going on, like a sixth sense or something.

"I wasn't comparing them. I just d-I wanted to ask for her number the day we had first talked, the day I came home with a kOoLaId sMiLE," he referred to her words from the other day, and she laughed, gesturing him to continue.

"But I didn't 'cause it felt like I was cheating on Maiya. I always feel like that, like when women flirt wit' me I be feeling like I'm doing her wrong. I don't know what the f-it's been seven years. Why I ain't let it go yet? We wasn't even together when she died man." He ran his hand down his face as he became frustrated all over again.

The day that Kaiya was born was supposed to be the happiest day of Roman's life, but it ended up being one of the saddest experiences he'd ever been through. The mother of his child died from complications during birth, in a situation where it wasn't an option on who could be saved.

Still 'til this day, Roman couldn't understand what had went wrong. She seemed so healthy during her pregnancy and he was at her side for every step of the way, supporting her however he could although they weren't in a relationship. Even without a boyfriend/girlfriend title, they slept together every night and were the best of friends whenever they weren't arguing.

Most of their disagreements were over some hearsay that Samaiya would hear about him from girls in the neighborhood. Now, back then, Roman was warped up in the wrong shit and could now admit to plenty of faults. He did 'get around', he supposed, but Samaiya was the one who repeatedly declined being in a relationship with him so he didn't think he owed her any real loyalty at the time.

By the time she wound up pregnant he realized he had to get his shit together, which is around the same time he went back to school to get his medical degree. Just when stuff started to get better between them, the inevitable happened during the natural birth of Kaiya.

Samaiya had lost so much blood right after she'd pushed Kaiya out-apparently she'd been pushing a little too hard and bursted a vessel. Then she caught an infection from the wound, which ultimately killed her in the end. It all happened within a day, quicker than anything Roman had seen before.

He hadn't been in a relationship nor had he had sex since then. Hell, the only time he'd been intimate with a woman since Samaiya's death were those times with Layla-which probably explained why he hadn't completely dropped her yet. Not that he was entertaining her, but he didn't bother to stir away from her advances either-though their last sexual encounter was well over two years ago.

Every time he even blinked at another woman, he always thought about Samaiya and the way he'd constantly 'cheated' on her before her pregnancy. He knew it was a mind thing but he didn't know how to get over it.

It wasn't really a problem for him up until he'd met Angel. He wanted something with her and couldn't even figure out why, nor could he act on it because his mind just wouldn't allow him to feel good with anyone besides Samaiya.

Angel made him feel good though; with her soft voice and her nurturing mannerisms, her corny sense of humor and the way she was so bluntly honest about everything. She gave him butterflies like he was still in middle school or something.

"That's a lot Roman." Faye finally spoke again after he'd explained to her his thought process about everything. It felt good to get it off of his chest, at last.

"Tell me about it." He muttered.

"Well, Roman, I think you know what you need to do. Confront the issue. You want to form some kind of friendship or relationship with Angel, so do it. Act on impulse. Don't overthink everything like you always do because you know that's how stuff gets ruined."