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tw// sa and sh

I was eight
I went to my bathroom and sat on the floor.
I was so disgusted that I rub and rubbed my thighs all over again and AGAIN.
I felt like throwing up while holding back my tears.
It felt like my own breath was choking me to death, it felt horrible.

1 line
2 lines
3 lines
4 lines
5 lines
6 lines
7 lines
8 lines
9 lines
10 lines
and over and over again until she felt unconscious and numb.
It was my first time,
till then I couldn't stop.
whenever I feel like i'm being abandon,
It scares me.
To the point, I shake and swell with tears
I say to myself, this is the last time
but it never is and never will.

                                      - the endless loop

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