Stellaride - A CinderStella Story

Too little, Too late (11)

Kellys POV

I continue looking at Stella still trying to find the right words to tell her, to tell her how much she means to me, lay all my cards out on the table. Stella looks at me confused probably wondering why im just staring at her, come on kelly spit the words out.

"What you thinking, you look deep in thought" Stella said as I shook my head 

"Nothing, just glad you're alive I guess" I say, it wasn't a lie, I was glad she was alive, but thats not what I was thinking, I buckled, I couldn't tell her not yet, she was probably tired and just wanted to rest. 

"I think im gonna go, let you get some rest, I need to let the guys no your okay" I say as she smiles and nods "Sure, I cant steal you from them forever" she jokingly says I kiss her hand, take one last look at her and smile before I slowly leave her room.

I called boden to inform him Stella was awake and doing well. shift had ended so decided to head to the firehouse to pick up my car then drove home.

...

the next day I decided to visit Stella at the hospital, I was awake most of the night thinking about how I felt and just regretting not telling her when I had the chance, but one more day to think about what I should say, wouldn't hurt. I knew exactly what I wanted to say now and I wasn't going to back out this time.

I make my way to Stellas room, I stopped by the gift shop to get some flowers for her, before I headed to her room, as I walked up I looked through the window and see a man standing next to Stellas bed, I immediately recognised him, it was Grant, I was about to charge in and drag him out but I watched as I seen him lean down to Stella, they kissed, then they hugged, she hugged him tightly as my heart sank, I removed my hand of the door handle and stepped back, I looked down at the flowers before dropping my arms in defeat as I walked towards the exit, placing the flowers in the bin. 

I got in my car and hit my steering wheel as I groaned. I calmed down a little before I started my car and headed home. once I was home I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on my couch as I drank it. Guess I was a little too late, maybe it was a bad idea anyway, she probably didn't feel the same way I felt for her. 

"Rough Day" Shay said as she watched me drop to the couch with the beer in my hand

"you can say that again" I say as I swig more of my drink

"want to talk about it" shay asks as I look at her expressionless 

"I think Stella is back with Grant" I say confused and saddened as I down the rest of my beer in one.

...

the next week flew by, I hadn't seen Stella since I saw her and Grant at the hospital, we haven't even text, Shay has been texting her, she confirmed it to me that Stella took Grant back and that she assured her he was clean, he got clean for her, he found out she was hurt and went to find her and tried to win her back. 

he certainly won. 

"she's been asking about you, wondering if you've dropped of the face of the earth, have you not been responding to her texts" Shay asks me as I shake my head 

"Nope, im trying to get over her, talking to her wont help" I say to shay as she looks at me before coming to sit next to me 

"Kelly, she's your friend, she misses you as a friend, and you can't avoid her forever, she joins us back on shift tomorrow." shay admits as I look at her and sigh

"kill me...kill me now please" I joking say as Shay pretends to choke me and we laugh. 

...

I arrived at the firehouse, I got here a little early to sort out some incident reports from last shift, today was the day Stella returned back to work. I was looking forward to seeing her but also not, I have missed her so much, but I know as soon as I see her all the feelings ive been trying to lock up will pour out.

I finish filing the reports as I walk out to the app floor to speak to Squad about doing some drills today, as I walk out I see Stella and grant hugging, I immediately turn on my heal and head back inside. I can't see them together, it breaks my heart. Crushes my soul. 

for the rest of the shift I avoid Stella as much as I can. I know if I talk to her, I know my guard will drop and I wont be able to stop myself from telling her how I feel. I still regret not telling her when I had the chance. maybe just maybe this could all be different. 

...

Stellas POV

I had my first shift back to work today, I was looking forward to seeing everyone, Ive been wanting to speak to Kelly all day, I was hoping he would return my texts so I could tell him about Grant, with him not responding to my texts I was hoping to catch him at the firehouse but he seemed to be avoiding me. it actually hurt that it seemed like he didn't want to speak to me.

I really care about Kelly, and wanted him to be the first to know about me and grant, Grant admitted himself to rehab and has been clean for 3 months now, we decided to give our marriage another go, considering we hadn't officially filled for a divorce we were still technically married. 

he does seem to be proving himself, the old grant I once knew and loved was returning, hopefully he stays that way. 

shift was about to end and I catch Kelly in his office and I head over to it, I knock on and he looks through his door window at me as he stands there looking at me for a few seconds before he opens his door and I walk in

"begun to think you were avoiding me" I jokingly say as he looks back down at his desk

"anyway, I wanted to come and tell you personally that me and grant have decided we give our marriage a 2nd go...he's changed Kelly, he went to rehab and got clean" I say as kelly still doesn't look up "I just thought as my friend you might want to know, and support my decision, but I can see your not really up for talking" I say saddened just wanting him to look at me. 

I wait a few seconds but get no response from kelly, I turn around and head to his door and open it, as the door creaked open slightly I hear kelly speak up behind me 

"I wish you the best stella...just don't let him hurt you again" I hear him say as I turn around to look at kelly, he still hasn't looked up, I take in his words as I leave his office and shut his door behind me. 

...

Kellys POV

"I wish you the best stella...just don't let him hurt you again" I say as I hear her about to leave my office. I keep looking down at my desk not wanting to look at her because I knew as soon as I look into her eyes I will fall in love all over again and right now im trying to lock up my feelings so I can support her decision.

I hear my office door shut as I turn in my chair and watch Stella walk away through the glass. I just wanted to go and grab her and tell her the truth...the truth being that I think she's an idiot for taking him back, he cheated on her all the time, attacked her, and was emotionally abusive towards her, I dont see a man like that changing this quickly. I wanted to tell her I was in love with her, and I wanted to be with her. the one that gets to hold her hand, the one that gets to hug and kiss her, the one that gets to love her.

I just hope she doesn't come to regret her decision as much as it pains me to think of them together, I just want her to be happy.