Courting

Chapter 20

Back to Ao'nung

More nightmares woke Ao'nung soon after, though he couldn't remember falling asleep. This time, he wasn't alone. Lo'ak was sitting on the other side of Neteyam's hammock, eyes on him. Instantly straightening up and very conscious of his hair now falling out of its usual bun. He stared back, waiting for Lo'ak to say something.

"He hasn't moved, has he." Lo'ak almost whispered, not a question, more a confirmation. Ao'nung could only shake his head. Lo'ak sighed.

"He really cared about you, for some reason. His main reason for going, I think, was he felt responsible for bringing the Sky People here and didn't want you to risk yourself to fix his mistake." Lo'ak told him, eyes still boring into his.

"That's stupid, he didn't choose to come here-" Ao'nung leaned forward, confused at the amount of responsibility Neteyam must have felt.

"I didn't say it made sense. A lot of what he does makes no sense." Lo'ak said, sounding slightly annoyed. "He always takes the blame for stuff I did, even if I try and take it back. Makes it hard for me to be mad at him, I can't be mad at someone for defending me." Ao'nung thought this was a thought process Lo'ak had gone through many times. As much as he didn't want to disregard Lo'ak's problems, Ao'nung couldn't focus on anything but the boy lying between them. Ao'nung followed the shining braid twisting along Neteyam's right arm, closest to him. His eyes slowed before resting on the ending, where the queue was revealed. The tendrils were moving lazily, but Ao'nung decided to test something he observed earlier. Until recently, Ao'nung hadn't realised that when he spoke to the room, the hairs at the end of Neteyam's braid began to move with more vigor, keeping momentum with his voice. This paired with the steadier sound of Neteyam's small breaths caused Ao'nung to spiral. He was almost ashamed to think about it, and he felt his face turn red hot at the prospect of what he was about to say. 

"Lo'ak," Ao'nung coughed, Lo'ak didn't move "um, was Neteyam arranged to... mate, with anyone, before you left?" trying and failing to sound unconcerned with such a fact, Ao'nung averted his eyes. 

"Not that I ever heard." Lo'ak responded. Ao'nung didn't know how he could go so long without blinking.

"So, he has no... um, future prospects then?" Ao'nung continued

"No." Lo'ak said, the clipped vowel made him sound almost amused. Ao'nung sighed as he realised Lo'ak wasn't going to offer any relief of this embarrassment. 

"OK, um, I was thinking." Ao'nung licked his dry lips "I've been... talking  to Neteyam."

"He hears you?" Lo'ak finally spoke

"I don't know, but when I do, his breathing evens out, and his queue starts reacting." Ao'nung tried to explain his theory.

"Reacting to you?" Lo'ak asked.

"Yes, I think so. I have wondered if... maybe I could wake Neteyam up, or give him strength to become well." Ao'nung expected ridicule or claims of stupidity from Lo'ak, but was met with a thoughtful nod. 

"You want to bond with him, tsaheylu." Ao'nung nodded. 

"I hate the thought of it, the thought of taking that choice from him." Ao'nung said, dropping his head. Once a bond was made, you could not go back. You could leave each other, find another partner, but you cannot re-bond with someone else. If Ao'nung was to make tsaheylu with Neteyam, he would be taking away any choice Neteyam had, any say. If the Sully's had to leave, if they went back home, Neteyam wouldn't be able to find a new mate. He wouldn't be able to have children with anyone else. Ao'nung couldn't be sure if Neteyam would want this, and even if he did, who was to say his mind wouldn't change. Surely there would be more, better, possible mates for someone as eligible as Neteyam. Then Ao'nung found another problem in his own logic. If he bonded with Neteyam, there would be no possibility of children anyway. Male Metkayina could not bear children, and Ao'nung didn't know if it was the same case for Omatikaya. 

Ao'nung couldn't believe his own forwardness, but he decided to ask.

"Can you, I mean, male Omatikaya, bear children?" He stuttered hopelessly through the sentence. He was almost glad at the small smile from Lo'ak, relieved to find any light in the smothering darkness of the past few days. 

"Trip in your plans?" Lo'ak prompted.

"No, um, I just wondered..." Ao'nung supposed this wasn't the time to get embarrassed "If I was to bond with your brother, the problem of consent aside, would I be taking away his ability to have children?" Ao'nung asked, forcing his eyes to meet Lo'ak's.

"I have seen it happen, I had a friend who's father gave birth. I think it was a gift from Eywa, the husbands were desperate for children for a long time. I do not know the process though." Lo'ak said thoughtfully, regarding Ao'nung with curiosity. "You wanna have kids with Neteyam?" 

Ao'nung blinked at the forwardness, but responded 

"I mean, I would want to stay with Neteyam for a time first, but that has been a wish of mine for a while. To have kids i mean, not with Neteyam necessarily." He tried to clarify.

"I don't think Neteyam would regret being mated with you." Lo'ak said, surprising Ao'nung with the sudden statement. 

"What?"

"Neteyam, I don't think he would be unhappy being stuck with you." Lo'ak said, there was no maleficence behind his words. "You are the chief's son, your companion would bear great honour. You're not drop dead gorgeous, but you are healthy and pleasant enough on the eyes." Ao'nung tried not to laugh at the blunt words. 

"I'm glad you think so highly of me." Ao'nung smiled, but continued, more solemnly "Are you serious?"

"Of course I am. You're a good candidate. Also, Neteyam was obsessed with you." Lo'ak added nonchalantly. Ao'nung blinked

 "What?" Lo'ak asked "He kept feeling his mouth like it was itching or something after he came back from sleeping with you on the beach." 

"We didn't-" Ao'nung started

"You didn't sleep next to each other on the beach?" Lo'ak asked, immediately shutting him up.

"Do you think it would work?" Ao'nung brought the conversation back to the original thought.

"I do not know. Perhaps your mother or mine would know. Actual Tsahik and child of another Tsahik." Lo'ak mused "You could ask Ronal, and I could ask my mother." 

"I can't ask you to do that, not alone." Ao'nung winced at the thought of Lo'ak talking to Neytiri about her son mating with him. 

"He's my brother as well, not just your valentine." Lo'ak said pointedly. (Yeah ik they dont have valentines on pandora get over it) Ao'nung nodded. 

"Get some rest first, you won't be any use if you don't actually have strength to lend." Lo'ak said, standing. Ao'nung's body almost folded inwards on itself, as if waiting for someone to prompt that very thing. "In your own bed perhaps." Lo'ak finished, walking out.

Ao'nung had waited until late in the night to return home, not wishing to answer questions until morning.

(Sorry if this was a big nothing chapter im just trying to eloquently explain things and I'm rlly bad at just getting to the point)