Jealousy, Where do I even begin? | tommyinnit angst

10... Repay

I clenched my fists. I felt like it was on the tip of my tongue.. everything that happened with Wilbur. Ranboo had left the house, so it was just me, Karl, and Techno.

Me and Karl had lengthy chats about Wilbur. I was starting to gain my memory. It had been a few days since the hospital visit with Wilbur.. He was getting better! They got him tube feeding, and he started seeing a therapist while there. He also had to see a physical therapist, his spine was almost fully paralyzed, but luckily he still had some fight in him. I haven't had many thoughts about self harm recently.. so thats good.

I sat in my bed, well Wilbur's bed.. I heard a knock on the door.
I went running downstairs to see who it was, I've felt lonely without Wilbur.
It was Wilbur!
"Hi, Tom." He gave me a cheesy grin.

I hugged him tighter then ever, "I missed you so much!!" I cried.
"It's been so lonely without you! I'm sorry I was so mean!!"

Wilbur hushed me, "It's okay.. I understand. I was crazy to you, Tommy." He started crying..

"How have you guys been?" He released from the hug, wiping his tears.

"I've been.. actually getting better- Not that it was because you were gone!! I promise it isn't that-"

"Hah.. It's okay. The drama was gone, you deserved that time to heal." Wilbur laughed,
"I've been getting better too, therapy and whatever."

I smiled, "Hopefully we wont be like cat and dog anymore."

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Tommy, Happy birthday to you!" Everyone in my family cheered for me. I felt a few tears prick my eyes, I blew out my candle.

I wish for the people around me to stay happy.

I thought to myself. I put up a huge grin, it was my 16th birthday. I got so many presents, I opened one.

"Are you serious?!" I gasped. It was a hoodie I had been wanting forever, Wilbur gave me a suspicious smile, "Wilbur.."

"Do you like it?" He grinned.

"Are you kidding me?! Of course I do!!" I gave Wilbur a big hug.

"Say cheese!" I turned my head and Karl had a camera, he snapped a picture of me hugging Wil.

"Hey!!" I barked. Pulling away from Wilbur, he didn't let go.

"Heyyy don't leave!!" He laughed, "Birthday boy hugs!!" Then Techno and Karl took that as their queue to join in. I was getting hugs.

"Come here kitty!! Come here!!", Milk came up to me, Karl bought is a kitten, we named him milk since he was white. He was the sweetest cat ever. I smiled, Quackity always wanted a cat.

"Good job, Tommy!" My family smiled, I had gotten straight A's in all my classes. So we went out for dinner. Wilbur had gotten a larger meal than me this time, things have changed.

I've began to grow disgusted and repulsed by my scars, but maybe thats a good thing. When I get upset I dont instantly think of hurting or killing myself. I've made friends.

I yawned, looking out of my window. The sun was shining so bright through it. "Wil, are you awake?"

I heard a small groan, he's so silly.
He's not super skinny anymore.
My scars are white, and i'm okay with that.
Wilbur hasn't done anything either, he's able to control his emotions.

'One thing i've learned is that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Although, at the time it may seem like all of your problems are forever. It's a lot to deal with, especially if the people around you make it worse. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, all my awful trauma has left me with knowledge. I'm working to become a psychiatrist. Having healed from it first hand, I know how to help. I don't want anyone else to go through what I did. I'm going to repay the world the favors it did for me. Thank you, especially to my family, my real family. Karl, Techno, Wilbur, and Ranboo. I love you all, and again, thank you.'

-Tom