Blood Bind (Feitan x Reader)

Chapter 34

Feitan was absent for a day. And then two. Then three. Whatever had been in that book was enough for him to snap. He disappeared without a trace, leaving you with nothing but a crater in your chest where the bond strained so heavily, part of you wondered if he'd left the country.

On the first day, you only worried in passing. He'd done this before and come back. You spent the day reading through the file Anaia's boss had given you, which she provided when she returned from the safe house. It was a file of everything TPI had on you, and from the looks of it, some of it was Marco provided. You also tried reading parts of the infernal book with Anaia, and you were frustrated to find that whatever translating Feitan had done had reverted when he tried to burn the pages. You didn't try reaching him in your head, because you knew he wouldn't answer.

You were sad, but not angry.

On day two, you were dizzy and his bed was cold without him. The pitying look of the Spiders grated on your nerves. Some engaged, like Uvo and Phinks and Shalnark, who seemed more pensive than usual. But most gave you distance. Which made sense. They didn't really know you.

You wondered if Chrollo was displeased, because planning didn't stop with Feitan gone.

You were angry and confused.

Feitan wasn't going to run again. But he had and you'd let him off too easily last time. If he was going to shut you out, he needed to understand the repercussions. You called for him over the bond now and got nothing but unending silence. One mind in your head was wrong and unnerving. He was meant to be there.

By the third day, a violent nausea had kicked in and you spent most of the day in bed. Originally you thought it must be a placebo effect – it was so much worse than what you'd experienced the last time he was away – but the more debilitating it became, the more you accepted that this was well and truly a wall you couldn't cross without something, anything to help. If you were going to be away from Fei for days or weeks at a time, this kind of reaction wouldn't do. TPI would never allow you to return if your only use to them was voided by your own unencumbered illness.

It was another unintentional side effect to the Blood Bind. This time you weren't an empty shell, you were a violently ill woman physically overwhelmed with the pressure of absence to the point you couldn't exist peacefully.

Mai and Anaia sat beside your bed in your room, the one you'd had upon arrival. It felt too much like a breach of trust to allow anyone into Fei's room without permission.

"This is going to be a larger problem than anticipated," Anaia said, tapping her pen against the notepad filled with dozens of pages of notes from the last few days. "Some uneasiness from absence is expected and every soulmate pair experiences it, but I've never seen a reaction this severe." Which you really enjoyed hearing – very much. "We don't know how debilitating the sickness will get until it stagnates – if it even stagnates at all before killing you."

"No dying," Phinks called from the table. "I'm in charge of your safety while Feitan's gone and I'm not giving ya back dead."

You didn't bother reminding him there would be no Feitan to give you back to if you died.

Shalnark sat pleasantly, looking out the window like he was more content to think than listen to the conversation.

"Feitan might just die before he gets back then because he's probably experiencing this too," you said. "I need something that will curb these side effects. But I don't know where or what that would be."

"I'll keep looking," Anaia said, standing and adjusting her outfit. "But maybe you should go after Feitan," she said to Phinks. "We only have a few days until the rally in the Gordeau Desert and she can't go in this condition."