the things we do in the dark (+18)

19

It started raining mid-hike.

It began to pour as they made their way through rocky forest terrain. The thunder and subsequent lightning that struck a nearby tree spooked August's Rottweiler Ladybird into running away from them, and now, Iverem and August are also running through the woods, chasing after the dog, despite the onslaught of rain and mudslides that keeps causing them to trip on their feet.

"I don't think she went this way," Iverem yells through the whooshing wind.

"What did you say?" August yells.

"I said –" thunder roars over her.

Iverem slips. When she tumbles, she takes August down with her.

"Shit, Iverem," he says.

"I'm sorry," she says.

The wind begins to pick up speed. The frailer trees swing left. And August and Iverem feel like they're about to go flying, so they take settlement underneath a Live Oak, huddling together as the storm rages.

"Did you check the weather before we came out today?" he says.

"No," she says. "But it's summer. It never rains like this in the summer."

"You should've checked the weather."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"What?" He looks ready to explode. "What did I say now?"

"You're yelling at me. Don't yell at me."

It was such a beautiful day—emphasis on the past tense. Iverem woke up bright and early and, for the first time in a while, without suffering from morning sickness. But with this little blessing came the glaring issue that she was now showing. She still hadn't told Jonah about the pregnancy, and she was losing time trying to figure out how to talk to him about the baby and their future and oh my god! their parents, how would their parents react when they found out about the baby?

Still, she pushed aside this anxiety and concentrated on more current matters. Iverem spent the night before thinking about August. What hiking trail should she take him on? What should she say to him? How should she dress? What would happen when they were alone?

The only thing Iverem felt she could control in this situation was her appearance. This was the only thing she could get a positive response from men and women. So, she went a little heavy-handed with the makeup. But this mask she wore did well in hiding the deep insecurity she felt around August.

Iverem had done her best to ignore the fact that August's presence made her feel self-conscious, as if she couldn't hide the ugliness within. She definitely recognized that feeling intensifying throughout their hiking trip. Ladybird was lovely. She kept the energy light. Yet that didn't diminish this oppressive, unspoken whatever that was happening between them. Damn, August didn't even look at her until it was raining, she was drenched and almost all of her makeup had melted off.

Now, they're fighting again.

"I'm not yelling at you," he says. "It's so loud I can barely hear my own thoughts."

"No, "she says, pushing him. "You're being condescending. It isn't my fault it started to rain."

August falls back onto the ground, exacerbated.

The wind is now howling. The taste of earth sticks to the roof of their mouths. And it's wet and humid, but all Iverem feels is a cold numbness throughout her body.

Iverem takes a deep breath. "I'm trying my best."

He withdraws his gaze, remaining silent for a long time.