𝐿𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒|𝐿𝑒𝒶𝒽 𝒲𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓂𝓈𝑜𝓃

𝟤𝟩|𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓅𝓎

Lucas Pov

So... bad news in the last Chelsea game against Dinamo Zagreb I picked up a hamstring injury which means I'd be out for six weeks, unfortunately this means I won't be selected for England to play in the world cup. Which i'm annoyed at but there is nothing I could do about it, but hopefully I'll play for the Euros that are in 2024.

Me and Leah have been as good as we could be, she is still not 100% but she is doing as good as she could be I suppose. She went back to training but she picked up a ankle injury so we are both out with injury at the moment. So she won't be playing with the lionesses for their upcoming games but I am sure she will be back playing for the Arnold Clark Cup.

I'm currently on my way to a therapist because I feel like I need to talk to a professional about how I have been feeling, Leah's at home well at her mums, she hasn't been home since the miscarriage I have I had to go back and clean the bathroom and get some stuff for us, I don't know when she will go back to the house, I guess it will be tough for her to go back as she will have a constant reminder what happened. It wouldn't surprise me if she asked if we could move and personally probably will be easier cause it takes forever to get to training as sometimes I take Leah and drop her off at Arsenal and then I'll drive to Chelsea, which it's a pain in the arse getting up extra early to go to training and Leah is a nightmare to get up on the morning.

I've arrived at the therapists office and luckily she signed a NDA, so no one will find about it other than the people who need to know. I only ever went when she had no one else scheduled in as I didn't want people knowing i was here, I'm not ashamed of coming it's just I know that the media will twist it and say something else and make it bigger than what It needs to be.

"Hello Lucas how have you been" Jean my therapist asked "I've been ok I guess, currently out with injury again" I said "what happened" she asked "Oh I just picked up a hamstring injury and I could be out for 6 weeks, so that annoyed me as I won't be playing at the world cup" I said "why does it annoy you" she asked "I haven't played for a major tournament with England for years the last one I played was in the 2018 world cup as along the way I had picked up an ACL injury which ruled me out of the whole season last year and then before that I had a little Ankle injury which I was out for a little, but I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and if I don't pick up an injury then I'll be ok playing and hopefully called up for the Euros in 2024" I said "how has things been at home" she asked. "Well Leah and I haven't been back to the house, well i have as I had to get some stuff for us but everything is ok I'm trying to do the best for Leah and make sure she is ok and well she just picked up a ankle injury too so we are both out at the moment, which is good because she has been struggling with the come down of winning the Euros so she has needed this time off but its's came at the right time, I think we might go for a weekend break away at some point, it might help us keep our mind off things" I said "Is there anything your struggling with at the moment" she asked "no not really I just get on with it, the miscarriage was hard at first Leah blamed me for it but she apologised and she said that she was wrong to think it was only her struggling with the miscarriage and that I wasn't actually struggling about it" I said "I think it is hard for us women to accept that both parts will struggle with something like that as even though the women carry the baby for 9 months and ect that baby is still very much half of the man, but it is great that she has accepted that she wasn't the only one struggling with it, how did you feel when you found out that you both lost the baby" she asked "I was angry... I just kept thinking how could this happen to such an amazing girl like she has done nothing wrong in her life she is literally the definition of perfect and I know there is practically no such thing as perfect but to me she is and you have people who have done the worse in the world and can still get pregnant and carry it to term.. I guess I was just mad" I said " Yeah it is tough, but you are both very strong minded and it probably wasn't the right time, it does frustrate me seeing people who have done the worst have kids and those who haven't are not able to, I am sure that when the time is right, you will either have a little Leah or a little Lucas running around" she said "I'm sure of it, we said that we will just focus on our careers for a bit longer, get the wedding sorted and done and then maybe try for kids" I said "Yeah if that is what you both agree on then, I think that's best" she said "yeah I just don't think it was the right time" i said "how did you feel when Leah told you she was pregnant" she asked "I had mixed feelings I have always wanted kids but I guess I was scared that I wasn't going to be good enough" I said "first time parents are always scared and no matter how much advice you can get off people its only you who can be the best parent they can be, that's all the time we have just text me the next time you want another session or when you feel like having one" she said "I will do thank you Jean" I said "no worries, see you later Lucas" she said "See you later Jean" I said as I left her office

I got back into my car and drove back to Leah's parents house, I walked into the living room and kissed Leah on the forehead "Hey babe, do you want a cuppa" I asked Leah "Yes please" she replied, I went into the kitchen and made us both a cuppa.

I handed Leah her tea and sat beside her "How was your session with Jean" Leah asked "Yeah it was good we just talked about anything and everything" I said "what did you talk about" she asked "Football, Wedding, us, the miscarriage and just how I was feeling" I said "I'm glad your talking to someone about everything" she said "yeah makes everything easier it clears my head, she also suggested well I thought about it and she agreed and said it was an amazing idea I think we should go away for the weekend" I said "yeah that would be nice, we haven't gone away just us, we could even go to Barcelona visit Kiera and Lucy and do some sight seeing and we would get a good tan" she said as I smiled at her "yeah so you'd look great in a all white England kit" I said as I looked into her blue eyes "don't you know it baby" she said "right well shall we go in about 2 weeks" I asked "yeah that would be brill" she replied

Leah and I spent the rest of the day watching movies planning our trip to Barcelona watched whatever football was on and did some wedding planning we decided to get married the beginning of June before the women world cup.

The day ended with me and Leah and her family including Jacob watching a movie and eventually falling asleep in each others arms.