Not that bad // Rhea Ripley

84- My Way

! this chapter contains mentions of self-harm scars, plese read carefully. If this subjects trigger you, feel free to come and talk to me. 

I love you all

 "If there's a war I'm gonna conquer it"

PVRIS

After 3 weeks of tag team matches with different opponents, this week, Demi had a singles match, and I was accompanying her to the ring. We had trained, and now we were in one of the rooms they let us use, as Demi was finishing working on her jacket. I always found it so cool that she did her own ring gear. Like, is there anything this woman can't do? I was sipping on my water, when she stood up, proud and happy.

"And tada, that bitch is done!" She smiled.

"Come on, try it on!" I pressed her. "I want to see how even better it makes you look!"

She smiled like a kid, and threw the jacket on her shoulders. She turned around, watching herself in the mirror, and letting me see her from all angles.

"It's incredible as always!" I smiled and got up, getting behind her in front of the mirror. "How do you look so good in anything."

"Says the one who can pull off any style ever."

I shut her up by placing a finger on her mouth, and she laughed. Things were growing more and more natural between the two of us, and it felt awesome. I finally felt like I was really myself around her.

We soon had to go get changed, and to get our hair and makeup done. For tonight, I was wearing very similar gear to what I usually have. I had a cutoff Parkway Drive tank top, some heavily ripped shorts, and combat boots. They had me wear heavy makeup, to match Demi's. Once they were done with me, I joined Demi near the Gorilla.

"Ready for your first single's in a while?" I asked her, leaning my head on her shoulder.

"Yeah, it sure feels weird, but I'm happy they let us have singles this week and next one." She smiled and kisses the top of my head, making my whole body feel warm. "I'm glad you're with me you know." She whispered.

"I'm glad too Demi" I smiled and stood straight as someone gave her her cue. "Come on, let's go crush it!"

She nodded, and I followed her to the ring, as the good side-kick I was. I stood close to her corner the whole match, which didn't really last long to be fair. During the whole time, I overheard someone make comments at me, and try to call me, but I didn't really answer him. At one point I slightly turned my head, and saw the person zooming his camera in on me, real close, but I really didn't pay attention to it. Soon Rhea won the match, and I went on the ring to hug and congratulate her. We left the stage, and went back so Demi could get a shower, and so I could change into comfier clothes. Once we were done, we said bye to some of the other wrestlers, grabbed something to eat, and left to our hotel. As soon as we made it there, I crashed into the bed.

"Shit, why am I so exhausted even though I did nothing?" I laughed.

"Hey, you hyped me up, that wasn't nothing!" She smiled as she disappeared to get changed into the bathroom. "But I have to admit, I'm exhausted as well." She yawned when she came back into the room.

I had changed in the mean time, and was already under the covers, scrolling through my social medias. I wasn't really paying attention, until something caught my eyes. It looked an awful lot like my tattoo, and first, I thought someone had copied it. Well, that comes with getting kind of known I guess. But when I clicked on the tweet, I realized it was my tattoo, the one that I have on my own arm. But that wasn't the problem, but more the fact that that person was clearly pointing out my scars. I clenched my jaw, and looked at some other tweets from this person. Other pictures were close-ups of my thigh scars, and there was also one video. The text above just said "Roxanne is a literal bitch", and a lot of the comments were pretty hurtful, some even telling me to do bad things to myself again. I opened the video, and it was me tonight, my attention focused on Demi in the ring. I didn't answer the fan's calls, and just turned around for a split second at the end of the video. I stayed there in shock, not knowing how to respond to that. Upon hearing the sound of the video repeat for the 6th time, Demi tapped my shoulder.

"Everything okay Roxanne?" She seemed genuinely concerned.

"I-I don't know?" My face was pale, and my voice was raw. To be fair, I almost had forgotten I even had scars, and being reminded of my past like that was extremely violent to me.

"Look at me Rox, what's happening?" She held my face gently. "Talk to me, I'm here for you."

She was calm and soft, and I handed her the phone, putting it at the first tweet of the thread. Shit, the post was starting to make numbers. I watched Demi's face turn into and angry frown as she read it all. Fuck, was she angry because of what I used to do to myself? No, no, I can't lose her because of that, I just can't. Soon, my breath started to quicken, and my heartbeat took up the pace. Oh hell no, I haven't had a panic attack in months now, I'm not really looking forward to have one right now. I saw Demi turn to me, but then nothing, everything felt like I was in a bubble. I could hear things, see some, but they all felt too far away from me. I felt a tear drop on my hand, and realized I was crying. Yes Roxanne, good way to seem even more pathetic. After some time, I felt a hand on mien, and my world slowly started uniting with the real one.

"Hey, Roxy, baby, look at me, I'm here." She rubbed her thumb on the back of my hand. "You're with me, you're fine, I promise."

I nodded a little, and then realized. Did she just give me a pet name? Shit she's adorable. Once I started feeling more and more conscious, I gently squeezed her hand, as I would in-ring, to tell her I'm okay. She chuckled a little bit, and then smiled.

"A-are you mad at me?" I hesitantly asked, my voice hoarse.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" She frowned, genuinely lost.

"Because of, you know, those?" I rolled my sleeves to show her my arms.

"No, of course not?" She reassured me instantly. "They look old and healed, and of course I'm not happy you had to go through that, but it looks like you're over it now, right?" I nodded right away, and she sighed, reassured. "Well then, it's fine. We all have our scars you know? Even I have some. I used to hate myself, and I did that shit too. As long as you're over it, and you don't feel like doing it again, everything's good." She stroked my hair softly. "I just don't get why someone would point it like that. That's just completely dumb." She sighed.

"I don't know." I looked down. "I didn't even mean to not answer him, I was just focusing on my role, and on your match, and-"

"Hey hey, you don't have anything to prove, you were completely right, and he's just an asshole."

She spent the next minutes reassuring me, and holding me close to her. I eventually fell asleep, my face buried in the crook of her neck.

I woke up before her. Having a day off today meant getting a bit more sleep. I grabbed my phone, to be met with like a hundred notifications. I sighed and opened it, anticipating to see some more horrible stuff thrown at my face. But surprisingly, I was met with a few nice comments, that were tagging my work account, and Demi's one. I searched for the tweet they were responding to, and found some Demi had posted, probably after I fell asleep.

@rhearipley_WWE: I am not going to say nothing when some of you are straight up bullying my co-worker and friend @roxanneWWE

Bullying is stupid, and can ruin lives. Everyone that was apart of it will get reported to the relevant authorities.