Your Scent || Jikook

20. Resembled Autumn

Several weeks went by, and it was apparent how the atmosphere was getting colder and evenings darker.

The leaves turning dazzling colours of ambers, reds and yellows; that time of the year when there's still a lingering warmth at nights with usually purple clouds in the sky and days are clear and bright.

This season was the most delightful time of the year for Jimin. The autumnal colours, the sound of the whistling wind that makes the leaves fall from the trees,

Jimin loved to take long walks outside overnights to enjoy the chills in the air. He simply loved autumn, as he believed it brings new hopes and positive vibes.

But this time,

The flow of his thoughts stopped right there.

A soft sigt slipped out of his plumpy lips as he opened his sad eyes to gaze upon his room's ceiling. Realizing he woke up not long minutes ago and he was already sad, refusing to get up just yet, although he was hungry. But the man couldn't even think of turning the lights on. So he remained just like that, laid in bed on his back in his dim room as the sun hasn't raised yet, allowing the silence to open his mind for more thoughts to pass through, as if he could do nothing with life but that.

However, this time, autumn only felt so much like how most people see it.

A season of portents.

Because with it creeping over the city this year, changing the weather from warm to cool and transiting the leaves from green to golden, it changed Jungkook. His dearest.

Since the break up that evening it's been almost two months now, and everytime Jimin looked at Jungkook, he resembled autumn.

Dead and crunched like the leaves dropping off of the trees to rustle beneath the citizens' feet, silent like the absence of the birdsongs and cold like the frost in the early morning before the sunrise.

And somehow because of that he was no better than him.

Jimin breathed in a heavy inahe and exhaled, turning his head towards the window.

Today, a damp dull morning dawned and he gazed outside at the mist in the air and the frost on the frames of his windows, smelling dry, sharp and prickly.

The first rain last night have brought new life to the city. It calmed the dry summer dust and bathed the trees deeply. Odd how it only settled more heaviness into his chest and made it harder for him find ease in falling asleep, when he remembered how every year it gave him so much energy.

Or Jimin just blamed the weather for how he was feeling, specially the last two weeks.

Because with thinking about it, it wasn't the weather, but nothing else gave him real joy, or at least a real smile after knowing how much his best friend was suffering and he couldn't help him, or specially how they began to drift apart because of it all.

Late night drives with friends or his two only favorite cousins, with the loud sound of the music playing in the car, singing out loud with it and taking selfies, eating ice creams or going on picnics, all were temporary happiness, not even counted as new memories. Because one moment he was smiling and the other his features returned to be nothing at all, for long and long period of time that almost all day.

He barely enjoyed his favorite food either. The strawberry pancakes his mother made almost every morning weren't able to satisfy him like they always did. Neither the fresh hot cup of tea. He unexpectedly cried on his cousin's lap the other night without thinking of the embarrassment.

Sigh.

His hand rested on his breathing chest. Here laid both disappointments and fear.

The disappointment in himself for breaking the promise he made to himself for not caring too much, thinking how could one person make him feel so much like the weather outside this morning, when he wasn't even in love with him.