S1E23. Claire Makes Medieval Cookies

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MY FACE WAS white-hot as his eyes pierced mine with a look that held hints of mischief inside

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MY FACE WAS white-hot as his eyes pierced mine with a look that held hints of mischief inside. I now understood what Lady Heathwood meant when she said Sir Ashwell could hold her with just a look. Everything felt too hot, my mouth too dry, like the Sahara Desert had taken residence there. A breeze could shatter me into a million tiny pieces. All because that look stirred a flame inside me.

I pulled away and turned my back on him. With my hands reaching for cabinets, trying to ground myself in my body again as I pretended to look for ingredients of any sort. Somehow, both terrified and thrilled at the sensation, I knew Prince Elric could set my world on fire and I'd let him.

I needed a distraction. I needed him to stop staring at me. Looking over my shoulder, I said, "I-I won't have you standing there looking pretty while I make these cookies. Get over here and help me!"

"Yes, My Lady," he said, his voice low, the gravel in it only stoking the flames between us.

A jolt of electricity zipped down my spine as I felt him approach. There wasn't a countertop to separate us, or keep his hand from finding the small of my back, or cool the new wave of heat that rolled up my spine as his breath whispered against my bare shoulder. The measuring spoons spilled from my grip. I backed out from his reach.

"Claire?"

"I-I..." I sighed. What could I say? Not the truth, that I had no experience or even the confidence to handle his attention, even if I wanted it. But I couldn't lie, either.

Elric frowned in my silence. "My apologies. I hope I am not making you uncomfortable." He stepped back, putting more space between us. 

God, I couldn't handle him close, but I couldn't handle him distancing himself any further. Was this what it felt like to have feelings for someone? It was wrong. So utterly wrong to have feelings for Prince Elric. Yet, when he looked at me, I felt alive, seen, like I could be something more.

"Far from it, Prince Elric. I've enjoyed every moment with you... probably more than I should." I took a step closer to him. "I've been a terrible friend – cousin. Jo's done so much for me and I've all but abandoned her..."

I thought getting to know Elric also meant getting the insight into Larnwick we needed, but what was happening now... it wasn't just to learn about Larnwick. I was making cookies, while Jo was pushing herself to exhaustion as she studied Larnwick. Going above and beyond to solve the problems like she always did for us. She deserved a better friend than me. 

"Kids can be cruel, but never Jo," I began as I started to gather the measuring spoons I'd dropped. "It didn't matter their size or age, she'd fight whoever tried to bully me. I don't know what I'd do without her... And when she's needed me here, I've barely been there for her. It's taken me until today, until that woman, to notice how absent I've been."

Prince Elric straightened out his vest before he clasped his hands behind his back. "I'll admit that I've been a bit persistent in spending time with you...and only you," he confessed. My chest swelled from flattery and even more guilt. "But I can't apologize for it, Claire. I won't. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I've cherished our time together. I don't regret it. Do you?"

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