Inseparable

• Chapter 3 •

"Faith! Wait!" Hope runs to catch up, and I can't help but notice how you can't see her thighs jiggle like you can with mine. I need to lose weight, ASAP.

"Oh, sorry. Must have been a bit distracted." I force a smile, hoping that she'll buy it.

"Oh, well I'm sorry for kinda ditching you today." She smiles nervously.

"No problem." I shrug it off. I can't tell her what happened today, she'll just make it worse and embarrass me.

"So how was your first day?" She asks with a big smile. Ah, the dreaded question.

"It was fun, you were right. I had nothing to be nervous about." I smile, hoping it looks real, "You?"

"It was so much fun! I mean, other than the fact that I have homework, and I had to listen to teachers drone on and on and on about nothing that any of us really care about, it was pretty cool. I met a bunch of new people, it's so awesome." She gushes, telling all these stories about her first day. "Oh and there was this group of blondes, you know the ones we have gym with?" I freeze for a second, hoping she isn't talking about the girls I think she's talking about. "And they are so funny. Like they seem nice, but they do have their moments. One if the girls asked how to tell the difference between Asian and Chinese people, how dumb right."

"Yeah." I say half heartedly. We walk up our driveway in silence, neither of us really having anything else to add to the conversation.

"Are you going to do your homework right away?" Hope asks me.

"Yeah I think I will." I shrug, going up to our room to get a start on the homework I was assigned. Personally, I think it should be illegal for teachers to assign homework on the first day of school.

I spend not even five minutes on the work before my mind wanders back to those girls' comments. It seems that no matter what I do, their words keep coming back to haunt me.

"Faith?" Hope calls up the stairs.

"Yeah?" I call back.

"You want a cookie?" She asks.

"Yea-" I hesitate. I really don't want to gain that much weight, maybe I should skip out on the cookie "No thanks!" I eventually call back down.

"Okay more for me." I chuckle at her reply, yet am slightly jealous of the way she can just casually eat a cookie, not even worrying about the half a pound she puts on. Then again, she won't put any weight on, fat evaporates off of her. It's not even funny.

I stand up and go look at myself in the floor length mirror in my and Hope's room. I turn on all angles, seeing the fat on my thighs, stomach, arms, hands, feet, neck, just everywhere.

"You're not fat." Hope comments from the doorway, making me jump. I turn to look at her and have to hold in a laugh as I see half of a cookie sticking out of her mouth.

"I know, I was just-" I pause, trying to think of a formidable excuse.

"Seeing how the tiny amount of fat on you looked in the mirror? Don't play that game Faith. I've had friends who have lost who they are when they play that game. Be careful." And with that she turns on her heel and walks downstairs, leaving me dumbfounded. She can see right through me. Maybe she knows a lot more than I give her credit for.

Maybe she's right.

Yet still I find myself googling ways to lose excess belly fat, cellulite, arm fat, and how to become skinny. I see a blog pop up and I click on it, but once I realize what it is, I gasp and quickly leave.

I wouldn't do that, or at least not until it's really desperate. I will not, make myself throw up. That's just, not me.

I'm the levelheaded one, or I used to be. With the thoughts that have ran through my mind today I'm not so sure about that anymore. I go back to my homework, finishing in twenty minutes, considering that the load was light today, though I expect it to be a lot different in the next couple days.

I sigh and go back to my online searching. There are a bunch of diets that look like good choices, but the problem is that my parents will notice that I'm doing something. They will never agree to any of what I'm looking up, they will think I'm insane and demand me to stop whatever I'm doing. I know that they are just looking out for me, but I really wish that they would just chill.

I walk downstairs and sit beside Faith, who is staring blankly at the tv.

"Whatcha watching?" I ask with an amused grin as I look at the tv to see her watching an old episode of La La Loopsy.

"Oh, just....umm." I see her snap out of her daze and blush when she sees what's in the television.

"Whatcha thinking about?" I ask curiously.

"Are you okay?" She randomly asks me.

"Yeah, why?" I furrow my brows, I didn't think I was acting all that differently. And I guess I'm okay, I'm just self conscious, that's healthy, nothing wrong with that, right?

"You're acting differently." She accuses, making my eyebrows shoot up.

"No I'm not," I answer too quickly.

"Yes you are! You're lying!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are! You're biting your lip, you only do that when you're lying!"

I quickly stop biting my lip and look down in shame.

"What's wrong?" She looks at me concerned.

"Am I-am I, fat?" I choke out.

"What? No! What the hell, why would you think that! You are so skinny!"

"You're right, I'm just getting self conscious. I'm being stupid. Are mom and dad making dinner?" I change the subject

"No they both are too busy, and will come home late." She looks at me with aw word expression, and I can't seem to put my finger on it.

"I'm gonna go make meatballs or something." And with that, I walk away, not looking back.

Cooking always cheers me up, right?