Come Back to Me (Don't Save Me Book 3)

Chapter 37: Regulus

TW: Talk of Suicide (Not the reader)

We reached the door to Severus's home and he quickly led me inside, taking my cloak from my shoulders and preparing a cup of tea, telling me to sit down while he made it. A million thoughts were swirling around in my head as I tried to sort through them all. I was still holding the picture in my hands, looking down at our smiling faces. This was one of the few moments of freedom I'd had in my youth and I cherished every moment of it. I looked away from the photo, trying to clear my head of the thoughts of Regulus and wondering how he died. I could still feel the places Sirius's hands had been as he held me on his lap. I could still smell the familiar earthy scent as I had buried my face in his chest. I shook my head, clearing it of these thoughts as Severus brought a cup of tea to the couch, placing it in my hands as he set the photo on the small table next to the couch.

"How are you?" he said, his voice soft to my ears.

"I'm fine, Severus. I'm always-." He cut me off before I could finish.

"You're always fine, I know. I know that's what you say but... today was a lot, Y/n. You're still mourning the death of Regulus... and I should've been there for you when he died. I'm so sorry, my love."

"It's not your fault, Sev."

"He was just a kid... I should've looked out for him more. I don't think he would've..."

I sat up, looking at Severus curiously. "You don't think he would've what?"

"Y/n... I-I thought you knew how he died."

"No... I was never told."

"Oh, my love... maybe it's best we save this conversation for another-."

"No! Severus, what do you know? Please... I-I need to know how he died." I set the tea down, clutching his robes. I had gone years without any real explanation and the thought of finally knowing the truth had desperation flooding through my veins.

"Look, darling... I shouldn't have even said anything. I don't even know for sure... this is just what we were told."

"Severus, please... I need to know."

He sighed, taking a seat next to me on the couch and holding my hands in his. "W-we were told that he'd killed himself. We don't know why and we were told never to speak of it again. The Dark Lord told those of us closest to him that Regulus had killed himself."

I was shocked. The thought of the sweet, dark-haired boy I had once known getting so low to the point where he couldn't continue... The thought broke me.

"W-why? Why would he do that?" I asked, my voice coming out shaky as the sobs threatened to overtake me.

"None of us know for sure... he seemed awfully distant anytime we would meet with the Dark Lord and I don't... I don't think he wanted to be a Death Eater anymore."