him.

~|chapter 9|~

(Author's Note)

Ah how the feeling of summer just fills the air and room. Trees, sun, water it's a perfect way to describe summer in three words. Never could put fun cause not a lot of people do think it's fun.

I beg for you're mercy oh reader.  Oh do let me know how you feel. Songs filled in our heads like melodies stuck on repeat, but why?

I know people from my school read my book, family too. H/n is a very important character for me, Yes a lot of the events may seam familiar such as; names, birthdays, events etc. But no one from my school is actually mentioned and it will be that way. No one knows who h/n is. Or why I wrote it like h/n and y/n. Truth be told it's their story nobody else's. I had to improvise a lot in this book so far. But most events are true and based off those true events. You'll never get to know h/n's name.

sun, hot, water and ice cream. Read my mind.

NEW CHARACTERS:

Sarah// AGE: 14 turning 15
Was y/n's friend

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Lexi//Age 15 turning 16
Was y/n's friend.
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Enzo//Age 15 turning 16
H/n's brother
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Jaden// Age 16
Y/n's ex also in family with h/n
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Sasha//Age: 15 turning 16
Y/n's cousin
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|y/n|

Sometimes I really do wonder why the hell is it always the nice guys. because there's no absolute way I fell for that fucking shit again. Two of my ex's cheated on me multiple times funny right? haha. one of them broke up with me due to Sasha my cousin and her friend told my my boyfriend at the time that I was cheating on him with h/n. I keep laughing at the Situation because at this point it's just funny.

If I could ever do this all over again I could. I've been at home for a week now. I just want to go back. Hopefully I can tomorrow I hope, my mum found my blade but said nothing. Now I want to self harm again not because she found it, it's actually hard to explain. Because at first I thought I was doing it to show what bullying could lead to. In honest truth I was doing it because of dad, my dad made me bleed myself. He made me hurt myself.

Those nights I would sit on the couch after him yelling at me. Then recording me, telling me that I need to tell my teacher I lied. My dads never been a liar, or I don't think he likes to admit that he is one. In my case he's lied to me many times and accused me of lying. He knows that he hits me, he knows he loves my half brother more. Where does that put me?

where do you feel loved y/n?

my foster family.

Here or in England?

England.

I showed them a PowerPoint I made for them for Christmas. Tears rolling down my eyes as I just sat on the rug crying while explaining how much I love them. I've been with them as long as I can remember, I have many loving memories with every one of them. But I'll forever cherish that time when we went to build a bear.