Idk why im so exhausted these few days. I sorta have enough sleep but im tired. I think im tired of something else. Either living or...idk, something else.
Like seriously this morning when i woke up to get ready for school, i felt really fucking tired that its so tempting to sleep. But of course i force myself cuz i skip going to school many times these past few weeks. I used the same fucking reason, wanna know what? Said that im sick.
Anyway, there was a sudden quiz from one of the subjects and I haven't studied yet. And when I exchanged my paper with the one besides me, i didn't get the score that my teacher expected me to get. And of course, im one of the students the teacher targets to get a high score. You could say they set a high expectation on me. Yeah 'they'.
Yk what the teacher said when i got a low score, they said "that's what you got when skipping from school frequently". And i just laughed it off like it doesn't affect me. After the school is over, i just walk out of class silently and act as if nothing happened. But the moment I got into my bedroom i started to cry, *laugh weakly* of course it would hurt me, i don't like people who set a high expectation on me or even focus on me. Just let me continue my school in peace, but not, they decided to....*smile weakly* im tired with all this burden.
Of course there's a reason why I am skipping from going to school a lot, it's just that I'm tired mentally. To face people tired me out in that state of mind, who doesn't right. I don't want people to ask me so many questions like im ok or not, why am I so quiet or some shit. Just shut the fuck up!
I even have the urge to just hurt myself but i decided against it. Im afraid to do it. No, cuz ik that once i do it, i can't stop it forever.
*smile sadly* i wish I had someone to vent and at least get a hug....
YOU ARE READING
VENTING :)
RandomThis book is me venting about my feelings or some random things in it. Your guys are welcome to read it, nobody's care if you read it though :)
