a sheep in wolf's clothing// remus

would've, could've, should've

"I get that. But there's a war on the horizon, I know you can all feel it. And you're a muggleborn, you're a target."

"I don't plan on being on the front lines. I am perfectly fine with brewing potions and healing people."

"You could still be attacked."

"It is too late dwelling on this now Lupin. I can't go back and retake it."

"You could still learn some of the more important skills."

"Like what?"

"Nonverbal spells. Casting a Patronus. Defense spells."

"I can do nonverbal magic, and I know the basic defense spells."

"You learned nonverbal magic?"

"Certain potions require nonverbal spells to brew."

"Okay, but you can't cast a Patronus."

"I don't plan on ever going to Azkaban."

"They can be used for more than just that."

"I've tried before, I can't even produce a incorporeal one. And not everyone is able to." Adeline rolling her cookies into towers and sitting them upright on a tray.

"That's because not everyone tries hard enough."

"Just drop it Lupin, okay? I don't need to learn right now. I can't anyways- no magic outside of Hogwarts."

"Fine. It really is a lame rule isn't it."

"Especially since some students can use magic the second day of six year and others the day before seventh year. It should just be sixth year no matter what. Because I can assure you that I am more mature than Black and Potter."

"I'm the most grown up out of the four of us but I am the last to 'become an adult.'"

"Yeah I am the youngest out the girls. Don't tell Dorcas I admitted that."

"My lips are sealed."

"Are they though? You don't have the best reputation for keeping your mouth shut."

"You are so untrusting, do you know that?"

"Yes, yes I do. I've been told it's one of my biggest flaws."

"Why?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why are you so untrusting?"

"You want me to trust you with the knowledge of why I am untrusting? That's a different level of meta." Adeline put the cookies in the oven and started the timer.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I am just curious."

"Curiosity killed the wolf." Adeline thought for a moment, "Well it obviously stems from my parents. The people who you grew up with loving you completely switching on you when you turn eleven is a bit traumatic."

"So that's all?"

"Such a nosy little thing," Adeline teased, "No that's not all, there was of course a boy who ruined everything, isn't there always?"

"Is this Mr. Stole Your Virginity?" Remus teased.

"So blunt with the questions Lupin, wow." Adeline laughed, "Yes the same boy. It was during our third year, he was a seventh year."

Remus' eyes went wide.

"Yeah a rough age gap there. But don't worry it was consensual." Adeline took a breath, "Dorcas was my only friend at the time and he sort of acted like an older brother to me. I had a huge crush on him but I didn't expect him to ever feel the same way. Until one day we were in his room and he made a move. One thing led to another and we- ya know. But then afterwards he told me he always wanted to know what it was like to fuck a mudblood. His master had told him that it's fun to see how pathetic they are during sex, but he said he just felt disgusted with himself the whole time. He then spit on me and kicked me out, saying to never look at him again."

"Adeline-"

"So that is why I do not trust easily. I went from struggling to make friends to not wanting to make friends. How fun!"

"Adeline, that was not consensual."

"He didn't rape me Lupin, I wanted it."

"He was what 18? And you were 13?

"Ye-yes."

"You were too young to consent Adeline."

Adeline looked down. "That's what Dorcas says too, but-."

"Dorcas is right, what he did was terrible. He groomed you and took advantage of your naivety."

"It's best not to dwell on things Lupin. It's in the past."

"It's not in the past, it's obviously still effecting you."

"Then I'll talk about it with a shrink some day."

"You could get that guy arrested Adeline."

Adeline laughed at this. "I definitely could not get him arrested."

"Statutory rape is illegal."

"Not when your Lucius Malfoy. A poor muggleborn accuses a rich pureblood who is a known blood purist? How do you think that's going to work out for me? I am fine Lupin. It's been years."

"There isn't a timeline on trauma."

"I am not you, okay? I don't dwell on my circumstances the way you do. I move on with my life."

Remus was visibly hurt by her dig at him. "I was only trying to help Wilson."

"I didn't ask for help. I was only sharing with you the answer to the question you asked." Adeline felt guilty for stooping that low.

"Okay, that's on me. Sorry."

"And that is private information. Not to be shared with anyone. Figured I'd make that clear this time." Adeline tried to joke but it couldn't make it through the newfound tension between them.

"My lips are sealed."

The timer went off.

"Those are your cookies."

"I'm not hungry." Remus said then turned and left the kitchen.

"Really Lupin?"

No response.

Well shit Adeline thought to herself. This is why you don't have friends bitch.