Oct, 23, 2010
Sixth entry
"I cant believe you agreed for me to skin fishes."I mumble to carl as i followed him up to where shane was, It didnt make sense why we were going towards the man that lori told us not to but here we were.Shopia was with us but her mother called her over so she went off with her, Which is lucky for her atleast she wont have too see the insides of a fish, I was silently hoping glenn would show up so i could go run off and hangout with him.But thinking about him just made me mad all over again.
"We dont actually have to do it, Milo." Carl rolled hes eyes like it was the most common sense thing to say, It also took me by surprise when someone could lie so easily and not get any backlash.I remember my mother telling me the reason i had such a strong backlash to lying was because i had to pay for her and my fathers mistakes, Which made no sense. But it scared me, I hated lying and not because it gave me such bad hives but because my mother hated mistakes and i didnt want her to hate me.
"If we aren't gonna help then why are we following shane?"I felt my skin get more itchy as we hiked up the hill, Its like my body could sense that carl was lying and was punishing me for it and my two small lies ive told today.I was to be scared to look down at my arms scared of what i might see.He grabbed my hand i hoped that there was no way he could tell i was broke out from just holding my hand, I dont know why its just such a strange thing to think that i was so scared for him to notice.He dragged me it was actually more like a slightly pull to another way.
"He's just our cover."He whispered to me as we crept away slowly away from the camp, Again.You would think we would have learned our lesson but i guess we havent and maybe we never would, There was a high chance we wouldnt learn our lesson till somebody we loved got hurt be the woods.But then again, how could anyone get hurt by trees?
The leafs crunched under our feet as we crept further in the woods, I didnt notice where we were in the woods but carl looked like he did know so i trusted him; Our hands were still locked together when carl stopped at the end of what looked like the start of a trail. He slipped hes hand out of mine and he held hes hand up at me to tell me to stay and i listened i didnt move an inch.
He walked toward the two trees that were at the end of the trail he peaked through the branches i wondered why he dragged me here, What could be so cool in the woods that he had to lie to lori?It would be like me lying to Glenn, it didnt feel right at all, But maybe it was just easy for carl to lie, Maybe if there was no punishment for lying, you dont feel anything when you do it, Maybe if i had lori as a mom, i wouldnt have been scratching my arm not because i was breaking out but because i was scared.
Why would- No that doesnt make sense why am i scared of being punished when my punisher isnt here?
Carl returned to me, He reached for my hand but stopped as he looked down to see where my hand was he froze for a second before reaching for the other hand, He wrapped hes hand around my wrist.He looked at my hand that he held before looking at me.
"Are you okay?"
That was such an odd question, Nobody ever asked me if I was okay.If Milo Wolf Axel was okay, How does someone respond to a question that theyre never been asked let alone heard.Was i okay?Why wouldnt i be, Its such a better question.There is so many reasons why i should be okay, Im alive for starts thats something alot of people couldnt say.I should be- No i am okay, because theres no reason i should be anything else, Right?
"Yeah im fine."I paused for a second, Should i tell him?Tell him what though, That i wanted to go back and wait for glenn or that i lied, But i didnt want to ruin whatever carl was dragging me toward.So i keep my mouth shut and hoped he didnt notice the pause, He didnt, Of course he didnt he was Carl Grimes, he was never the brightest.
