If Only... (**Female reader x Muichiro**)

Chapter 8 (POV: (Y/N) )

"My name is Rengoku Kyojuro! Nice to meet you! Kocho told me about you!" he responded as I stood up. Widening his eyes in shock, he exclaimed, "Young demon slayer! Don't move! You hit your head on the poison stalagmites!" 

"I...I did? I feel nothing..." I reached up to touch my head and felt blood sticking to my fingers. Suddenly, pain shot through my head, and I fell unconscious.

I woke up on my bed, in my room, in the Butterfly Mansion. I remembered nothing and my body feels...empty...no emotions. Walking to the mirror, I had a plain emotionless face and a bandage wrapped around my head. Finding a blue envelope, I opened it with haste.

Dear (Y/N),

I suppose you have awaken when you read this. We have conducted many tests on you and you seem to carry the poison in your body. The poison is unable to be drawn out of your body. Try not to strain yourself :).

-Kanae

"Hm." I mused as I sat on the bed. Lying on the bed, I remained still. That lonely, empty, feeling was still there. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make myself cry nor smile as I thought of all the sad or happy memories.

"You're awake." Shinobu muttered as she opened the door, "How do you feel?"

"Empty, lonely, emotionless. My body feels like there is a hole in it, and nothing can patch it up."

"That's the poison doing. Seems like the poison is in your blood, if we draw it out, you'll die. No worries, you should be feeling better soon. "

Everyone said that when I was in the Mansion. However, I still felt...empty.

"Sigh...seems like this poison cursed you..." Kanae replied when I asked her to do a full medical check on me.

"Ok."

I trained when I was free, honing my skills to the maximum. That was when a horde of demons infiltrated the mansion when the sisters were not here. I had to take care of it.

Killing a demon, I felt oddly...happy that I'm murdering. The more I killed, the more my vision turned stranger. Every human or demon was black and the surroundings were red, I could not recognise anyone or anything.

When the sun rose, I laughed and laughed until I was normal again with the cold, empty feeling.

"(Y/N), I saw everything...what...?" Shinobu stuttered as she came out of her hiding spot.

"I don't know. It was good to kill. Very satisfying. Though, I felt my sanity drop to 0%. Like in the final exam. Every demon and human was black. I could not recognise them. The surroundings were also red. I laugh to make my sanity go back to 100%." I replied in a monotone voice.

"That was more than 50 demons...you're a hashira..." Kanae told me.

"Ok."

"You are not happy, or anything?"

"I feel nothing. I feel empty and emotionless. I laugh to raise my sanity to 100%."

"You are emotionless..."

"Yes."

"There will be the Hashira Meeting the following week to announce you, ok?" Shinobu asked and I nodded.

Walking away, I planned to sleep in order to ask Astraea about me.