sincerely, amity

emotions

Luz and Skara never spoke much, but sometimes that doesn't matter. It made Luz feel better that no one was trying to avoid Amity. She looked at the ground, squeezing Skara's hand before retracting her own.

"Thanks," She smiled.

So many words hung in the air. The three all had so much to say, but there wasn't anywhere to begin, so they just sat in silence.

"Hey, what are you all doing here?"

The three turned at the voice, fear striking the thought that they'd been caught skipping.

"Christ, Hunter you scared the shit out of me," Luz laughed, putting a hand over her chest. "Probably the same thing you're doing,"

The blond pulled out a chair next to Luz, joining the group, shrugging.

"Man, I don't want a potions test before winter break," He protested.

"A test? Hell no," Boscha scoffed, bending over to pick up her bag. "I'm going home. I will see you guys after break,"

The four burst into giggles, covering their mouths to silence themselves.

"Shit, I'm gone too," Luz agreed between laughs, picking up her bag.

"Wait, don't leave us!"

The group laughed all the way out of the library, joking and bickering. They literally walked right out of the school, right past the front office, no one ever questioned them. Their laughter died down as they walked down the steps.

"This is insane," Luz said, chuckling.

"What? Never ditched school before?" Boscha teased, punching her lightly in the arm.

"Well, no actually, but I mean this. If you were to have told me two months ago that I was going to ditch with you three, I would have laughed in your face," Luz said, looking at the group.

Everyone's expressions softened, and it seemed like reality kind of, set in.

"This.. doesn't have anything to do with Amity, does it?" Luz asked them, slowing her pace.

No one spoke.

No one spoke for the rest of their walk. Everyone had their own things to think about. Eventually, the four went their separate ways, and Luz found herself walking straight home today. Her stomach turned, nausea settling over her. She walked quickly, her body tense as feelings of guilt and failure shot through her veins. She slowed her pace once she reached her front door, greeting Hooty, and hesitantly pushing the door open.

"Eda, I'm home. I ditched school," She muttered to the witch in the kitchen, dragging herself to her room.

Eda turned to the human, confused and worried. She watched as she slugged down the hall, turning to King, seeing he had the same expression as her.

"Something's up," She muttered, placing her mug down, and rushing after the girl.

She hesitated in front of Luz's bedroom door, listening to her shuffle around. The noise finally settled, and Eda figured she'd gotten in bed. She softly rested her forehead against the door, debating her actions.

"Luz?" She asked through the door.

There was no answer.

Eda moved her hand to the doorknob, twisting it and quietly walking in. Luz laid on her bed, facing the wall. The witch walked over and sat on the edge of her bed, looking out at the messy room.

"I don't know what's happening to me, Eda. I've tried to hold in my feelings, I've tried to express them, I've tried to ignore them, I've tried to embrace them, but nothing ever works. I've tried to talk to others, I've tried to move on like nothing ever happened, I've tried to move on like something did happen, but everything sets me off. I have no control over my emotions, I hurt myself and the people around me, even when I don't mean to. I'm doing things I didn't know I had the gut to do. I'm failing all my classes, I'm skipping class, I- Fuck, Eda. I walked straight out of school today. It is because I miss Amity, it makes me do stupid things, and I wish it didn't," Luz immediately spilled, her breathing becoming unsteady. "I feel like I'm losing my mind,"

Eda stared at the girl in front of her. She lowered herself next to the human, and wrapped her arms around her.

"You have too much going on, kid. You need to focus on one thing at a time. Organize your thoughts, and one good way I know you could do that.. would be to start a diary. I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes you just need to throw your brain on a piece of paper, and try to understand it better. It's okay to hurt. You do not have to push your feelings away, you hear me? You just take all the time that you need. Going to see you mom next week will help a lot, you really need her right now, and the change of scenery can help a lot as well," Eda spoke softly.

Luz took every word in. She leaned into her mentor, closing her eyes. She let out a shaky breath.

"Eda, when I first came to the Isles, I was so happy to find a world where I could finally be myself. And it's thanks to you that I can. You have raised me better than anyone ever could. I have been through hell and back, but you have held my hand the whole way through," Luz stated. "I love you,"

The Latina rolled over and nuzzled into the older woman, clutching onto her tightly. Eda pulled her closer, tears threatening her eyes.

"I love you too, kid,"