Living with the Nurse

Chapter 18: Nick

I was suddenly very cold, lacking the heat I had felt a second ago. Letting out a groan, I felt for the warmth. I could hear someone talking softly, padding around. Distantly I heard a toilet flush. Then the warmth was back again, barely dipping the bed. They settled in, away from me. I wasn't satisfied with that, in my sleepy state, and reached out for them.

They were stiff as I pulled them close, like a wooden board. They even tried to get out of my grip, saying my name a few times. I just muttered, burying my face against them. Eventually, they relaxed and I went back to my deeper level of sleep. Eventually waking properly, I found out what that warmth was- or who.

Jess was tucked against me, cheek resting on my shoulder. She was sound asleep, breathing steadily. Her hair was out, going everywhere. The hand fisted around it obviously didn't mind, making me blush. I let go of her hair, reluctantly. I started to move away, until she started stirring. Not wanting to wake her, I stopped moving and rested my hands back on her. She was sound asleep, so relaxed. She was also beautiful.

Lucy pulled my attention away, making a sound from the cot. She was awake, watching us. There was a little grin on her face, telling me she was in a good mood. Her hands reached up, telling me what she wanted. She wanted to come into the bed too. She wanted cuddles. I chuckled lightly, still unwilling to wake Jess.

"Let your Mummy sleep, sweetheart" making funny faces at her, I tried to entertain her a little. I didn't want her making a ruckus and waking Jess. I knew she could use the extra sleep, having had a couple bad nights recently. Lucy eventually settled down, becoming fascinated with the inside of the cot. I knew there were coloured shapes in there, painted on. She was more than happy to stare at those.

Jess just kept sleeping, until her internal alarm clock told her it was time for medications. She woke, slowly realised where she was. Her eyes moved up to meet mine, instantly alert.

"Morning. I didn't want to wake you..." I released her, gesturing between us. I swallowed, feeling a flush come on. I suddenly remembered I was just in underwear, not having changed I to something. I flushed, remembering how I had just stripped off and climbed into her bed. Sure, she offered- but I was just so tired.

"It's fine. Thanks for letting me sleep. I needed the sleep. You know, you're pretty grabby when you're asleep" she rolled off the bed, a light smile on her face. I paled, thinking of all the horrible possibilities. Did I grope her or something? I stood, panicking for a moment. Jess noticed my face, shaking her head in response.

"Relax. I didn't mean it like that. You just like... Cuddling, when your asleep. Every time I got up to get medications or something, you were not happy. As soon as I got back, you just pulled me over. It was kind of cute" my cheeks were burning, knowing she was probably right. I knew I got weird when I was asleep. I had even been a sleep walker as a kid.

"Oh... Good..." I wrapped my arms around my abdomen, just imagining what I looked like. Blushing, in red underwear and overly large. There was something weird about the image. Jess only smiled, focusing her attention on Lucy. The smile she got in return was breath taking, all toothy and dimples.

"Good morning to you too my sweet girl. Are we having a good day?" She didn't pick Lucy up, only bending down to kiss her. I could only watch, mesmerised. Jess was in loose, old clothes and had tangled hair. She looked like she just rolled out of bed, but didn't care. She was more interested in her daughter. There was something so beautiful about her, even when she looked so unkept. She was real. She had even washed her make up off the night before, completely natural.

I felt my chest tighten slightly, but snatched my clothes up off the chair. Quickly pulling them on, I went to stand beside Jess. Lucy tried getting me to pick her up, bringing back the tight feeling in my chest. I wanted to pick her up, as weird as that was. I wanted to hold her, just like I wanted to hold her mother. I just wanted to hold them both. I hadn't realised how lonely I was until that moment.

"She woke up an hour or so ago. We played a little face pulling game" Jess, looked up at me. She was surprised. I looked away, backing out of the room. I needed the toilet anyway. Leaving, I ran into Marie. I froze, feeling guilty. I probably looked like I had been doing naughty things. I wished I had been doing naughty things.

"I...we didn't...I was just-" my rambling was going no where, so it was a relief when Jess cut in.

"Someone beat him to the couch. I found him on the arm chair. I wouldn't have been able to sleep, knowing he was like that" she was grabbing Lucy's bag, probably planning on getting her morning feed ready.

"We didn't do anything" Marie eyed me, an eye brow raised. Then she laughed, patting me on the shoulder.

"I know. Relax. Jess would never do anything with Lucy in the room" she went to Jess's side and helped her getting things ready, pulling an outfit from the bag. I left, glad that hadn't been too awkward.

~~~

I was relieved once we got home, helping Jess pull everything from the car and bring it into the unit. It was becoming a habit, to just help her. To fit into her routine. To be around her. I pushed the thoughts away and tried to ignore how her hair lit in the sun. Or how her shirt was pulled up with Lucy resting on her hip, giving me a perfect view while I held the door open for her.

I also ignored how good she smelt, just focusing on getting everything inside. You wouldn't think much had to be carted for one night, but there was a lot. From a pressure mattress to nappies. Jess had it all. After wolfing down the left over pancakes Marie had sent home, I noticed Jess carrying a box. She was also pushing Lucy in the chair, multitasking.

I took the box, ignoring protests. She eventually shrugged and led me outside. The box went into the car, followed my several more. I soon realised she was going back to the hospital. She would be back in a few days. I was more disappointed that she was going than I had the right to be. I was just so used to having people around now. The unit was too quiet when they were gone.

When they left, I just sat around for a little. I didn't know what to do with myself. I had friends, but I hadn't had time to see them much. Not with my shifts at work. A call told me they were going out that night, so I had a few hours to kill. I decided to watch Frozen again. Lucy had loved it, and I had spent most of it sleeping on Jess's lap. Might as well find out what I missed.