human heart | neteyam

eleven

HER

her lips quivered at the thought of talking to him. s'more had made it her duty to go out and find neteyam just a few minutes after he stormed off. she was scared he might have ran off and did something stupid. she sighed as she had felt like she'd did her best to look for him, she'd been walking around for almost an hour and there was no sign of him. "neteyam!" she called out; nothing.

everyone had dispersed to do something else while she was the only one out looking for him. she found herself at a secluded part of the beach, allowing herself to sit down and let her mind run wild. until she felt a large hand upon her shoulder almost causing her to have a heart attack. "I'm sorry I ran off," his voice was soft as he took a seat next to her, revealing neteyam. she didn't say anything but let a small sigh leave her lips. he analyzed her face carefully, making sure his actions didn't cause damage to any of her beauty. "I'm sorry," he coo'd once again.

she just wanted things to be easier, easier for them. she wished that the two of them could hold hands like a normal na'vi couple without it looking astronomically weird. as for him, he didn't care that they didn't make any sense to other people. the only thing that mattered was that she made sense to him. he didn't care if he had to die and reincarnate into a human, if that's what it took to be with her with full potential; he would do it in a heartbeat. she was his only exception.

he had never, could never, look at a na'vi girl the way he looked at her. he would never feel the love he feels for s'more with anyone else. it was like a blessing and a curse. the blessing being that he was grateful to even exist the same time as her. the curse was his heart, how his heart fell so hard for her. he hated himself for it. he knew he was going against everything he was ever taught and raised to do. but was that worth anything if he didn't get to be happy?

his hand laid gently onto her knee with a sigh. she looked up at him. if you could name one thing neteyam admired most bout her features it would be her warm brown eyes. he loved how different they were from his. "it's okay," she finally answered; her eyes piercing into his. he could feel his heart race at the contact. it was the best feeling in the world to him. the privilege to even be able to look at her. "neteyam-" she started out, his facial expression grew puzzled. he knew what she was about to say was bad, giving that her eyes slowly looked down to her hands as she played with the hem of her top. and she always did that when she was nervous about something.

"this isn't normal," she pointed to her then him. "we will never work," her words stung like a thousand knives into his chest. "it's just- look at you, then look at me. it's like wishing for something that has already died," his mouth parted in sadness as she kept digging her knife deeper and deeper into his heart. his vision began to blur as water began to pool his eyes. she gulped lightly. "I'm rain and you're fire, I will only let you die out. I will burn your chance at ever being able to rightfully mate with a na'vi girl, for you to be able to have heirs-" he had heard enough and roughly took her small hands in his.

"who cares if this isn't normal? who cares if this isn't right? all that matters is what my heart feels, and my heart only feels for you. no one else," he whimpered, his tears were now falling down his face as he tried his best to speak with a lump in his throat. "yes, granted I'm supposed to be the next leader," he paused and grabbed her chin so that she could look up at him. "but at what cost?" her face dropped and tears poured from her eyes. she hated how much she loved him, she wished she could erase his memory of her. so she she could watch him live his life as he's supposed to. he put her hands up to his heart. "see, I am yours," his eyebrows furrowed as he waited for her to say something but she just cried.

so he took her in his arms and hugged her, allowing her to cry into his shoulder. she wanted to fight him, stray him away from her. it would hurt her but she knew it would be the only way to allow him to move on from her. "neteyam- I can't love you," she pushed him away. "look at us! if there was even a chance at this, we wouldn't be here crying to each other," her words were harsh but not on purpose. "I mean for the love of eywa, I can't even breathe your air," her voice cracked as her eyes saw the defeated look on his face. neteyam could practically feel his heart beating out of his chest.

this hurt was worse than getting wounded on his Ikran. this felt like death to him, this is what he'd imagine his death would be like. slow and painful. as she looked at him she saw nothing, just emptiness. he had given up, with nothing else to say. she let out a hiccuped sob as she turned away from him. she sat still on the ground; begging for tears not to continue pouring from her eyes. her thoughts were running wild as neteyam sat closely to her. she could feel his skin gently rubbing up against her after each breath he took. she was dying for him to say something; anything. she kept her eyes peeled to the ocean in front of her. she didn't want him to see the pain that was held in her eyes because she knew he would try and take everything he had just said and throw it into the ocean like he had never said it; just to make her happy.

she sniffled with a chuckle and rolled her eyes; thinking how stupid it was that she couldn't even rub her tears away that fell because of her oxygen mask. neteyam heard her sniffle and his eyes slowly looked over to her. he wanted to hug her and tell her he still wanted to try but he knew in his mind that she was right; he couldn't.

he couldn't even kiss her properly and if he wanted to her would have to take off her mask and hope that she can hold her breath long enough to even be able to enjoy the presence of his lips. he just sighed; analyzing the tears slowly rolling down her cheek. he wanted to try, he wanted her more than anything. but he knew he couldn't, because she had a human heart and he didn't.

and when two opposites attract, love is too hard to fathom.

-

authors note;

this aint even the climax yet y'all... :(

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