l0ve Me or LOVE Me

1| Fake smile

As the piercing sound of my alarm shattered the tranquility of the morning, I jolted awake, reaching instinctively to silence the loud harsh noise. In my haste, my hand met the screen with a force that spelled doom for its fragile glass. R.I.P to my phone screen, a casualty of my morning routine. Loud noises weren't exactly my cup of tea, but they were a necessary evil to rouse me from the depths of sleep. 

Surprisingly, I found myself the earliest riser for once in my life. It was a rare moment of pride. I stumbled over to the mirror, rubbing the remnants of sleep from my eyes. A fleeting thought crossed my mind as I gazed at my reflection, "Wow, I'm not so bad looking," before reality slapped me back into consciousness. 

Ouch. 

Ah, the life of a typical teenager. 

With a newfound determination, I forsook my usual attire of hoodies and sweatpants, opting instead for a short floral frock. It was time for a change. At the ungodly hour of 6:30 am, my mother emerged from her slumber, greeted by the sight of me dressed like a girl and ready to conquer the day. 

"Am I dreaming, or is this real?" she mused in disbelief.

I rolled my eyes, opting for silence instead of a snarky retort. 

Note to self: curb the bratty behaviour. 

"Mom, could you grab breakfast? We need to leave soon," I requested, braiding my hair – the one aspect of myself I actually liked – and preparing my bag. 

Today marked my first day of high school, and despite the mix of excitement, nerves, disinterest, and fear swirling within me, I was determined to make the most of it. While I hadn't exactly been a social butterfly in the past, I was eager to see new faces and perhaps even make a friend or two. Adrenaline coursed through my veins as I embraced the unknown. "Your school starts at 8:30, Miss. Remember that, Miss Potato," my mom reminded me, placing undue emphasis on the word "potato." Another nickname to add to the collection. 

Lovely.

*Fast Forward*

As the clock struck 8, impatience gnawed at me. My mom's leisurely pace in retrieving the bike from the parking lot grated on my nerves. "Can't you hurry up?" I snapped, my annoyance bubbling to the surface. "One more word, and I'll leave you here," she threatened, her tone leaving no room for argument. 

I wisely held my tongue, realizing I'd already pushed my luck. The crisp morning air greeted me as we arrived at my new school. I removed my mask, relishing the cool breeze against my face. 

"Take care, keep a smile on your face, and try to socialize without that mask," my mom advised before bidding me farewell. No time for bickering. I made my way to the office, a beacon of uncertainty in a sea of unfamiliarity. A kind, elderly gentleman approached me, offering his assistance. 

"May I help you? What's your room number?" he inquired, his deep voice carrying a sense of warmth despite its commanding tone.

"It's 18," I replied, feeling a tremor of anxiety at the prospect of navigating this new environment alone. "Follow me," he said, his smile putting me at ease as he guided me to my classroom. With a final wish for a good day, he left me feeling strangely comforted. 

Entering the classroom, I was met with curious stares, like an alien invading their midst. The awkwardness was sensible.

"Good morning, dear. Have a seat," the teacher greeted me, gesturing to the only available spot – a shared bench occupied by another girl.

"Morning, sir," I responded politely, my eyes meeting those of a familiar face.

"Criza!?" I whispered in disbelief, relieved to see a semblance of familiarity amidst the sea of strangers. She smiled in response, a silent acknowledgment of our shared predicament.

Criza Kate – a classmate from my previous school, though the irony of our newfound acquaintance was not lost on me. Until yesterday, we had been oblivious to each other's existence. Fate works in mysterious ways.

With chemistry class underway, I found myself under the scrutinizing gaze of the professor, his inquiries bordering on interrogation. My nerves betrayed me as I stumbled through his questions, eliciting laughter from my classmates. 

Except for Kate and me, of course.

As the bell signalled the end of class, I breathed a sigh of relief, only to be approached by a tall, shy-looking boy with a friendly smile.

"Hello there, I'm Nathan. Nice to meet you," he introduced himself, his demeanour instantly putting me at ease.

"Uh, hi," I stammered, cursing my newfound shyness.

Glancing over at Kate, I found her gesturing for me to smile, a silent encouragement to break the ice.

"Hi, I'm Ishita Jablonski. Nice to meet you too," I replied, mustering a smile that felt more forced than genuine. 

Unintentionally, I found myself swept up in the whirlwind of nerves that accompanied a new beginning.