TIME AFTER TIME ; jjk

37

I didn't take Jiwon's anger seriously and only downplayed it as merely fleeting. I thought, hey, it wasn't anything that could hurt me. The thing between us was over, and it was done where it exactly stopped. I cut communication off. I went out of my way to ignore her, flashing it clear she had nothing to expect from me. However, now that we'd come to this point, I was wondering about her own pain. Was she just taking it beyond normalcy or had I hurt her a little too much that it had gone long lasting, phasing into anger?

"Really." My mouth went slack.

"You did this to yourself. I'm glad I didn't let myself be further taken advantage of while you keep wearing this nice guy facade. Everything you worked hard for will be gone because you aren't as genuine as you want everyone to believe."

My own anger began slipping in, tugging at the corners of my mouth and eyebrows. I could feel the vibration in my hands, the jolt of displeasure.

She was right about that. I couldn't keep being nice to her.

I kept my voice steady as I talked. I hated to say this to Jiwon, but fuck was I equally frustrated now, probably even more than she was. Well, I should be. She still had a job, a well respected clan, and even if she quit, she'd get by with the help of her parents, while my rage could barely afford me anything beneficial. "Thanks for figuring me out. Didn't know a stranger could do that for me. Let me be frank with you, Jiwon." I heaved a sigh, suddenly breathless as I held the phone to my ear. I shook my head and added a hard edge to my tone, continuing, "No, not everyone dislikes you or whatever vile term you forced into your head. Keep projecting onto someone else and everyone will end up not pleased with you. You must have been egoistic enough to assume that nobody would want you for lots of reasons. You're doing that to yourself. You do things that make other people not want you. You're petty. What you pulled off was honestly surprising and how stupid of me to actually think you're better than this so yeah, this was pathetic, too. Now just the thought of seeing your face again makes me sick. So I hope we don't ever cross paths one more time. Just so we're clear. I really hope you're happy, though. You've done quite a huge thing in your life that has impacted someone else's and you should be proud of it. I'm a bit impressed; I'll give you that."

I didn't wait for a response and blocked her on my device again.

. . .

My mother couldn't stop grinning around me which made me realize I hadn't visited home in a long while. I didn't know if that crossed the bad son line, but I sure was feeling like one. I felt like a kid again watching her put a bit of everything on my plate, taking care of me, making sure I was eating well. She and Dad had begun updating me on their ceramics collection, sitting at the table behind me while I did the dishes, earning a few nods and laughs and a series of questions from me to show interest. I felt a little lighter.

"Son, could you tell me how to get out of this shit..." My dad beckoned to me with a small frown on his face as I was wiping my hands dry. He was squinting down at his phone. He was annoyed, for sure.

I walked to him and gave it a stare, too. The phone screen was so bright it could blind me. I reduced the level of brightness, seeing the group chat my father shared with his siblings was pulled up. "You want to leave your GC again?" He usually did that and would ask one of his brothers to add him back once he'd cooled down. "Come on, who pissed you off?"

"Your Uncle Hyunwoo says something dumb on a regular basis," he answered gruffly.

"You know you can just mute or ignore them."

"Mute his ass." Dad shoved his phone into my chest and turned around, slowly treading his way to the living room. I chuckled. This was the only pettiness I could tolerate.

. . .

"Are you staying?"

I blinked at the TV. "Yeah." Dad nudged my foot away with his when I propped it up on the center table.

"How have you been?"

"Good." Mom's laughter hollered from the back patio, having a video call with her friends.

I saw my father scowl. "Your mother is always noisy. So noisy. She often talks to those noisy friends of hers." My parents had this strange dynamic, which surprisingly worked out. If my father acted too affectionate, I would be taken aback. He cared in his own loving subtle ways.

And I didn't know how he would exactly react to my dismissal.

I nodded, saying, "She's having fun."

"Work's alright, too? " he asked.

My back stiffened, but I effortlessly appeared unruffled. I couldn't find strength to tell him what happened. Fear blocked the back of my throat, knowing if I told them I was terminated, the next thing they would ask: what have you done?

It would be a long story. I would have to eventually mention Jiwon, my fair share of stupidity, the other ugly stuff I'd rather bury.

"Yes, Dad."

"So, how's the woman you told me about? Don't like you still? Don't waste your time on her, Jungkook. We've loved you from the day your existence has been recognized and no one else can beat that," he nonchalantly replied, his eyes fixed on the show that was playing.

Maybe I was going insane because I couldn't explain why I was laughing as I stopped myself from tearing up.

But God, I wanted to cry.

a/n:

i had about today by the national playing on loop though it fits the next chapter more. will be writing ch38 in a few!