lost | P. gavi

xvii.

Lorelai honestly thought life couldn't get better, well maybe if they had won the world cup but nevermind that now

everything was so great, she had Gavi as her boyfriend and he was just great, he loved her and she loved him just as much, he took her out on dates every now and then, they were so happy together, life has been going amazingly for the past few months

up until September 27th, Lorelai had diner with Gavi's family, and truly that wasn't the problem, she had met them before and they loved her to bits, mostly his sister, she absolutely adored her

but it was the call she got from the hospital that turned what was a great diner into one of the worst diners, ever

it was a call from the hospital, and it was about Tristan

he had had an epileptic crisis two days ago yet no one  had told her, and it was a bad one, he was currently in the hospital, unconscious ofcourse, and they called his emergency number, hers

oh how happy she was to know that he considered her his go to person, but oh how devastated she was to have figured it out in that way, how sad she was that they actually had to use his emergency number

Lorelai had excused herself and left quickly that night, though Gavi had insisted on coming with her and she couldn't argue with him so she let him come along with her

as soon as she arrived she was led to his room and seeing as Gavi had no business being inside the room with the two siblings he just strolled around

when she saw him her heart dropped, he had these things attached to him and an oxygen mask as if he was dying, because he was dying, but this, all of this just made it real, too real

Lorelai couldn't take it, seeing her big brother, her other half, her best friend, the person who was always there for her and who she was always there for, dying

her back hit the wall as she slide down to the cold floor, a hand on her mouth trying to muffle her sobs as much as she could, but she couldn't, she just couldn't

seeing him like this, it was something she never thought would happen, seeing him in this state, in a hospital bed, she wanted the world to eat her whole, because she knew, it was only a matter of time until Tristan was gone, it was hard to admit, but it was the truth, the very ugly truth

suddenly the door opened making her look up at who it was, though with her eyes full of tears she could barely make out who that person was if it weren't for his voices, his soothing voice

"oh Lorelai"

just as he said that Gavi sat down on the floor next to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer as she sobbed into his chest

"he wasn't supposed to go this young" she said in between sobs

"Lorelai, he's alive"

"I know, but not for long, you heard the doctors, it's only a matter of weeks, two months tops, a him and I, we had so many plans, what about the plans we made ? what about backpacking through Europe? what about making our own band?just him and I?"

"Lorelai it's-"

"don't tell me it's gonna be okay, because it's not, god I've heard that sentence so many times in my life and it was never okay, I was never okay!" she finally snapped getting up, then covering her mouth with her hand

"what do you mean?" he asked her concerned as he got up as well

"nothing, Gavi, it's nothing" she mumbled wiping her tears

"it's something and it's bothering you, so tell me" he told her as he intertwined their hands together

"I can't, not here, not now"

"when we get home, you're going to tell me"

"I'm staying the night" she said looking back at a very unconscious Tristan

"yo-"

"he's my brother and he's dying, I'm staying the night" she persisted stubbornly making him smile sadly

" that's not what I was going to tell you" he said smiling down at her making her tilt her head questioningly "you're a great sister Lorelai, I love you okay? and it might not be okay but if someone can handle it it's you Lor"

"no Gavi, it's not me, I can't handle it,Lor can't handle anymore pain, Lorelai can't handle anymore hurt, Lorelai Gilmore can't handle life anymore, because my whole life was Tristan and look at Tristan now, he's dying, he's practically dead, I can't handle that my whole world is almost gone"

Gavi's lips parted, he wanted to say something, he needed to say something and he should have said something, but it wasn't in his own hands as he was kicked out of the room and sent straight home, worried as ever

°

two in the morning

it was two in the morning when Lorelai was woken by a doctor, she knew what he wanted but she hoped that she was wrong

she hoped that the words that were about to come out of his mouth weren't the ones she had dreaded but the ones she had hoped for

that instead of a I'm sorry, a happy smile, a nice smile, reassuring her that her brother was okay, that her brother was fine, and that he was waiting for her

but instead she was met by a frown, by pity and sadness, by sorrow and by looks of sympathy, by those horrid words

"I'm sorry miss Gilmore, your brother has passed away"

and that was the final straw for Lorelai, that was her breaking point, she fell to the ground as the doctor left per her request

he was gone

Tristan was gone

her light, her hope in this dark world, her whole life, the only person she would have never wanted to loose, he promised her he'd let her go first, she told him they'd go together, they were supposed to go together

he had so much to live for, she couldn't imagine a life without him, she didn't want to imagine life without that's when it struck her,

she didn't get her goodbye

she's never getting her goodbye, her last hug, her last word with him, her last anything with her big brother, and she'd never get it

if they only had five more minutes