Against Reason

My Darling

Vera grabs one of my hands and backs up from me some, and I furrow my brows at her. The woman just smiles at me, and once again I'm in awe over her beauty. The song still plays softly as Vera swiftly uses our connected hands to swiftly spin me around. We dance together to the music and a string of chuckles leaves my mouth. I then copy her and turn Vera around once. Her and I dance in sync to the soft melody of the music. Our laughs melt together and fill up the living room. Finally, Vera grabs both of my hands and holds them gently, while staring at me with loving eyes and a soft smile. I then have to embrace the woman, because I need to feel her heart beating quickly against my own. She wraps her arms around my waist, and slowly sways to the song as it comes to an end. I hold her tightly, as if I could lose her at any second.

All I can think about as I hold the beautiful woman tightly in my arms, is how that in this moment, I am truly happy.

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A few more days pass, some of them spent in my depressing bedroom rotting alone, and some with Vera and her kids. Eventually it's Christmas Eve, and I've never felt lonelier. I curl up even tighter into a ball on my couch as I scroll through my insta, becoming jealous as I see everyone's festive Christmas Eve posts. Outside, snow falls heavily and makes the evening sky look a pale grey. Inside, Grey's Anatomy plays softly on the tv, and the light is the only thing illuminating the depressing living room. My mom took down all of our family photos awhile ago, my baby pictures included. I think they remind her of a time in her life when she was actually happy, so she doesn't like to see them. Plus, she doesn't like looking at my dads face.

I shut off my phone and sadly smile to myself at the thought of my father. He was an asshole, but I made a lot of good memories with him when I was younger, and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt every time I think about him. And at the moment this train of thought is just adding insult to injury, since I'm already spending Christmas Eve alone. I miss when my parents got along, and we were one big happy family. Maybe if they had never grown to hate each other, I'd be some peppy high school girl with straight A's and acceptance into ivy league colleges, instead of the jaded, shell of a person I am now.

Unfortunately a tear slips down my face, and pulls me out of my thinking. I try to swipe it away, but more continue to fall. Pretty soon I am full on crying about my lack of a family.

Before I get to the sobbing stage, the front door suddenly opens, and Vera hesitantly comes in.

"Aria?" she calls out.

"In here" I say with a sniffle. She turns the corner and spots me on the couch with my red nose.

"Oh honey.." she mutters before joining me on the couch and wrapping me in her arms. She grabs the blanket that's bunched around my feet and covers us with it. I lean into her and just let myself cry, and she doesn't say a word, just kisses my head or smooths my hair.

"Why did you come over?" I say into her shoulder

"Because I didn't want you to spend Christmas Eve alone Aria" she says with a sigh. "The girls are sleeping and all of their gifts are wrapped and under the tree, so I'm yours for the evening."

I sit up a little and wipe my eyes to look at her. She looks so beautiful it actually makes my heart hurt.

"....I'm sorry that I have so much baggage. It doesn't seem fair to you that I'm always dealing with something.." I mutter, now avoiding eye contact. Vera scoffs and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, before tilting my chin up to face her. She wipes away some of my tears and says,

"Aria, I want all of you. The good and the bad. I mean, I have my fair share of baggage too. I'm not going to ditch you because you have some issues, don't worry about that." I smile softly and feel reassured, then I softly kiss her pink lips. Vera immediately kisses back and rests her hand gently on my neck.