𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 - joão félix

30

waking up the next day was the worst thing.

the guilt in my stomach, reminding me once again of last night. and the way i felt queasy, i automatically knew that my day was going to be terrible.

i felt miserable - and i knew that i needed her. i wondered if she felt the same way, did she need me as much as i needed her? or if she got over it already..

i looked down at the ring on my hand that i had given her the first time we kissed. i smiled and reminisced the past.

i looked up as the door opened and antónio entered with a calm expression on his face.

"goodmorning," he said. "i mean - afternoon. how are you feeling?"

i checked my phone and it was 1pm, i guess it was because i couldn't sleep without her last night so i only got a couple hours of sleep.

"i feel like shit," i responded honestly,

"if you feel like shit then go do something about it - go apologize to her or something. i can't stand seeing you guys like this." antónio said.

i knew he was right, but i thought that eleanor wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore so if i tried talking to her she would probably walk away.

"i don't know," i said nervously. "i'll try to talk to her today."

he smiled. "good. you should probably start by getting out of bed first."

i rolled my eyes and got out of bed, i looked in the mirror and my eyes were slightly puffy from crying - i really didn't want to leave the room but i had to. 

i went into the bathroom and changed quickly before splashing cold water on my face hoping to make myself look decent - i guess it kind of worked as i didn't look that much dead.

i walked out the bathroom as antónio looked up from his phone to look at me. i took a deep breathe as we walked out the door and closed it behind us. we took the elevator down into the lobby and sat on one of the couches.

i pulled out my phone and texted el.

joão 

please can we talk??

after ten minutes of anxiously staring at the screen and waiting for her to reply, i was left on delievered. she hadn't blocked me though because the messages were still going through, thank god.

"joão, look who's there-" antónio smirked.

instanly i turned to the direction he was pointing at. and there i finally saw her, i smiled but then my smile faded as i realised she was with kat and rosia so she wouldn't talk to me.

but that didn't stop me. antónio gave me a thumbs up as i stood up and walked closer to them. i noticed how they dropped their smiles and rosia and kat gave me dirty looks - el just looked tired and sad which i felt immense guilt for.

"can i talk to you, el?" i asked nervously as rosia scoffed.

rosia stuck her middle finger at me, "go away, she doesn't want to talk to you bitch."

"i don't fucking care rosia, get lost." i scowled, then i looked at el with a soft expression. she barely met eye contact with me, and when she did she immediately looked away.

"el, please can we talk," i practically begged her but her bestfriends blocked me.

"i don't think you got the hint, joão. she doesn't want to talk to you." kat said defensively.

my sister and kat were really starting to annoy me, but i kept my temper. i took a deep breathe in and out of my frustration and spoke again.

"eleanor." i said patiently. "i need to talk to you."

"you're fucked up, joão." rosia shook her head. "let's go." she took eleanor's shoulder and walked outside the hotel with kat following them.

"fucks sake." i muttered and walked back up to my hotel room.

-

eleanor's pov:

"let's go." rosia took my shoulder and we walked outside with kat. i couldn't help but feel sorry for him -  he wanted to talk to me but rosia and kat told me not to so i couldn't.

"that boys so full of shit and he had the audacity to want to talk to you.." rosia muttered to herself.

kat nodded as we walked into a nearby coffee shop and sat down at a table with four chairs. 

"hey kat - where did you go yesterday? it's like you disappeared." i chuckled.

her face went pale and she smiled nervously. "oh, my mum just called me. i'm sorry it was an emergency and i had to go.."

i nodded understandingly although it did sound very suspicious. soon the waiter came and took our orders.

"i'll have a hot chocolate, please." i said.

"could i get a coffee please?" rosia asked.

"uhm, i'll just have some tap water.." kat said embarrasingly. tap water was free though and i understood.

"actually - can you make that a coffee instead, please? it's on me." i smiled at kat and her face lit up. as soon as the waiter was gone she spoke,

"thank you, eleanor. you didn't have to do that.."

"no problem," i smiled. "it's the perks of having a rich boyfriend," i said, referring to my credit card. i instantly went quiet after saying the word, 'boyfriend' as we weren't in a appropriate situation right now to be called dating.

rosia coughed awkwardly as the waiter came back with our drinks, we thanked him and started to drink them.

"so, kat." i started. "do you have any siblings?"

"um, no. no i don't." she said quietly while looking down.

-

we decided to go back to the hotel because it was too hot for us (even though we just drank hot drinks, idk the logic)

kat had to go back to her shift so she waved bye to us and went inside the kitchen. me and rosia walked up the stairs to her room.

"rosia." i paused before entering. "i need to get my stuff."

 rosia had an extra toothbrush and she allowed me to wear one of her clothes today but i needed my other belongings.

she looked at me, "are you sure? joão is in there -  do you want me to come with you?"

i shook my head, "no, no it's alright. i think i can manage."

"alright. but if he does anything just knock on my door, okay?"

"okay." i replied as she closed the door. i took a deep breathe and walked to mine and joão's room. i cursed at myself for forgetting the card to unlock the door so i had to knock. great.

i knocked on the door and patiently waited, i suddenly felt very nervous when the door opened and joão looked at me intently with a kind smile.

"hey." he winked.